Connection between neglect and memory development/somatic response?

[papillon]

Hi all,

In speaking with my therapist about emotional neglect, she briefly mentioned that she thinks the pattern of neglect is the reason my memory developed poorly. Something about how when we're young children we experience things primarily as feelings/emotions without really putting words to experiences. It seems like she was saying that without proper emotional support the brain doesn't properly get away from processing experiences into full-fledged memories... leaving us with emotional memories rather than clear memories that we can describe.

Does that make sense? Can anyone point me to more information about this topic, namely, the effects of abuse and neglect on the development of a person's ability to process life & store memories?

A good bit of my personal history is one big, hazy blur with bits of events scattered throughout. What I do remember, I remember primarily with how it felt/what my emotion was at the time. My memory tends to be out of context with time and I struggle to put things in chronological order. Even as an adult, I've forgotten entire vacations and needed photographic evidence to remind me of the event. Details go the way of the wind... what I wore a week ago or a conversation I had a month ago. If I don't write things down I know I'll lose track of them as if it was never there. (Kinda scary sometimes!)

Is this "normal" or is it, as I assume, another side-effect of ptsd? Do you think your ability to store and recall memories has been affected by your experiences?

Thanks, I appreciate any kind of response! Let's hope I remember to check back 

[Three Roses]

In Pete Walker's book "Complex PTSD: from surviving to Thriving", he discusses different types of amnesia we form as coping mechanisms in the face of the abuse/neglect we've suffered. He has a website, pete-walker.com ... you may find something there. Also see "dissociative amnesia", or dissociation.

I'm new to all this too ... that's all I can tell you. We're here for you 

[annakoen]

I just read this now... Papillon, we can shake hands on this, I recently wrote about this in my recovery journal. My memory is horrible. Especially what you wrote about vacations: my husband will take photographs specially for me. We put them in an electronic photo frame so that I can remember our holidays.

I found a research article a while ago about this and yes, it may be a symptom of (C-)PTSD

[annakoen]

http://www.pandys.org/articles/invisibleepidemic.html

Conclusion
Traumatic stress, such as that caused by childhood sexual abuse, can have far-reaching effects on the brain and its functions. Recent studies indicate that extreme stress can cause measurable physical changes in the hippocampus and medial prefrontal cortex, two areas of the brain involved in memory and emotional response. These changes can, in turn, lead not only to classic PTSD symptoms, such as loss and distortion of memory of events surrounding the abuse, but also to ongoing problems with learning and remembering new information. These findings may help explain the controversial phenomenon of "recovered" or delayed memories. They also suggest that how we educate, rehabilitate and treat PTSD sufferers may need to be reconsidered.

[Three Roses]

Thanks, great info annakoen

[Danaus plexippus]

Psych meds can hang a number on your memory too.

[felloutofthesky]

Does anybody think this could be part of the explanation for object constancy? It's something that gets me the most, when I cannot remember that people love and care for me, or that they even remember me. It would make sense.

[Danaus plexippus]

My doctor increased my meds last Wensday and I've been forgetting things left and right. I just got out of the grocery store with a cart full of perishables and realized I locked my car keys in the car. Now the stress of being locked out with a cart full of perishables is triggering an EF and EBS.

[Three Roses]

Oh dear! I hope you're able to get in your car and get home soon

[Danaus plexippus]

Thanks, I couldn't remember if I had paid my AAA renewal. I never got my new card. Maybe it's somewhere in the piles of mail on my kitchen table. Anyway I gave them a call and was shortly thereafter rescued. For the rest of the day my inner critic tortured me mercilessly for being so helplessly inept. I had suicidal ideations and a strong desire to self harm. If a dear friend hadn't called later that evening. I don't know if I would be here today.

[deptofhearts]

Hi, I too have serious trouble remembering things like trips or people I have met, events, things that happen randomly etc, Usually no rhyme or reason what I forget though. I put it down to being hyper vigilant + massively stressed as a child which turned into dissociation, one of my go-to responses courtesy of C-PTSD.

[solongStockholm]

I noticed my memory taking a nose dive somewhere around 16-17 years old. With a young child, sleepless nights and juggling running a business/home life it's so bad to the point where I won't remember even major details of conversations I had yesterday. If I don't write it down I won't remember. I grew up in a mostly emotionally neglectful and sometimes abusive household. I never understood it to be the reason for this decline until now.

[Blueberry]

What your therapist said is interesting for me. I immediately thought of the explanation I was given for trauma affecting the brain, that before you heal the trauma there are bits of memory scattered about. Memory of sound in one part of your brain, the visuals somewhere else, the narrative in a third place etc. and that one thing they're trying for in EMDR or whatever other method is to bring all these parts of the puzzle together.

I imagine it's normal for us anyway, as another side effect of c-ptsd.

I used to have a really good memory, like an elephant  . It took a nose dive when FOO recommended I forget those bad things that might have happened (and forgive of course too). I tried so hard to forget I lost the good memories too. I'd had really beautiful and colourful visual memories of the natural world, holidays, pets.... I lost them and they've never come back, tho lots of the bad memories re-surfaced of course. My visual memory has remained bad. Then my memory took a further nose dive when I got retraumatised about 5 years ago and dissociated completely. Since then I've had a lot of trouble remembering really basic stuff in day-to-day life.

[annakoen]

Does anybody think this could be part of the explanation for object constancy? It's something that gets me the most, when I cannot remember that people love and care for me, or that they even remember me. It would make sense.

A very late reply to this but I wanted to respond that I recognise this too. I wouldn't be surprised if that type of memory, remembering on an emotional level who cares about you, is also affected.

[annakoen]

I used to have a really good memory, like an elephant  . It took a nose dive when FOO recommended I forget those bad things that might have happened (and forgive of course too). I tried so hard to forget I lost the good memories too. I'd had really beautiful and colourful visual memories of the natural world, holidays, pets.... I lost them and they've never come back, tho lots of the bad memories re-surfaced of course. My visual memory has remained bad.

I'm so glad I'm not the only one! I can cross out memories but it feels like I'm losing more than just I wanted to forget....