I'm new and lost

[sadandlonely]

Hi,

I've just joined. I was in an abusive relationship for nearly 20 years, he wasn't abusive to start with but when he knew I wanted to get out he got a lot worse. I have 3 children with him. The children refuse to see him and have no relationship with him whatsoever.  We have been separated (never married) almost 7 years and he still won't leave us alone.

He lies to everyone that will listen to him. He sends the police around after making false reports. He is a nasty monster. Myself and the children have all needed counselling. Two of the children still see the therapist.

My current relationship is on its last legs due to the pressure and stress I am under due to my ex. He said he would destroy me if I left him. I lost my job, friends, confidence because of him. He just won't stop.

I rarely go out apart from school or food shopping. I've become like a recluse. I feel like I'm not living my life, just surviving day to day.

[mourningdove]

Hi sadandlonely,

I'm sorry you are having such a hard time. You have been through so much, and it makes sense that one might become a recluse after all that. I relate to the feeling of just surviving day to day, rather than truly living. I hope you find this site useful and I'm glad you are here.

Welcome! 

[Havithal]

Ma'm I would recommend looking into the stalking and harassment laws, and seek a protection order signed off on by a judge then make certain to document any and all contact he attempts to have with you. You are not as powerless as he has led you to believe, Your first step in this is to start using the system to protect yourself.  Protection order/restraining order would be a great place to start and gives you a pretty firm legal leg to stand on and also sets up a history. You don't have to live in fear of this guy.

I've seen people like that before and once they get the buffalo on you and make you feel powerless that's where they get their strength. Show him via the proper authorities that you are not afraid to stand up for yourself and let the law do their job.

This is my humble opinion

I'll pray for you and your continued well being