Favourite Quotes - Part 3

[woodsgnome]

"Trauma is personal. It does not disappear if it is not validated. When it is ignored or invalidated the silent screams continue internally, heard only by the one held captive. When someone enters the pain and hears the screams, healing can begin." – Danielle Bernock

"The Ache" was a term I've used for years in reference to what the whole mess of CPTSD feels like. I still feel it, but reading this quote I realize there's also this scream. Being internal, no one else hears it, and it makes "the Ache" seem even worse. The other apt term used by the author refers to the "one being held captive." Know that one, too.

I know -- just words -- but they resonated deep and clear for me when I read them. me

[Not Alone]

That resonates with me too. Thanks for sharing, Woodsgnome.

[Kizzie]

   Tks for sharing this WG 

[woodsgnome]

Holding What Must Be Held (excerpt from a poem)

When I think I can't ache any more,
the world serves more heartache.
And I meet it.

I say no, but I feel myself stretched
by some great invisible hand,
rendering me spacious enough to hold
what must be held.

— Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer

Rosemary Wahtola Trommer is a wonderful poet who creates beautiful contemplations about 'stretching' our capacity for spaciousness. It reminds me of the familiar saying about how it's the crack that lets the light in. But finding a way to create the opening, and not be scared of it -- that's the hard part, eh?

[BeeKeeper]

woodgnome,

yes,

finding a way to create the opening, and not be scared of it -- that's the hard part, eh?

very inspiring, thank you!

[Blueberry]

Two quotes I've come across in the past couple of days:

"People with an upper hand tend to make another's experience small." I don't know who it's from, but it makes me think of what happens to me when I'm being bullied - somebody tries to make me or my feelings or my thoughts small. I like this quote because it helps me see I'm not the first one to experience this under a bully.

The other one: "I swore never to be silent whenever and wherever human beings endure suffering and humiliation. We must take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented." - Elie Wiesel

[woodsgnome]

I'm frequently 'haunted' by ghostly sounds in the form of re-hearing the taunts, shouts, and shame-talk of those who abused me years ago. While I've learned to vocally respond and not hide under the covers like I used to, running into the quote below gives me another perspective which I like. So here it is:

"I am peace, that is who I am, while old ghosts trespass on land which isn't theirs."

      ~ Simon Parke ~

[woodsgnome]

  Wouldn't ya know, just after posting the above quote by Parke, I went online and ran smack into the following quote which dove-tails nicely with the Parke quote, with the aha  feeling of how these things work. The second quote:

"The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new."
Dan Millman

[Hope67]

Hi Woodsgnome,
Wow, those two quotes are perfect, thanks for sharing them.   
Hope 

[Blueberry]

From over at OOTF: "Every interaction w/ PD persons results in damage — prep beforehand and make time after to heal", it's in mbr Spring Butterfly's signature.

Even interaction in my head with FOO mbrs results in damage and I need time to heal from it.

[Kizzie]

That is so completely true BB and I don't think those who haven't been subject to N abuse get it sadly.  I just had the Outreach Worker from my inpatient program say to me during a checkup phone call this week "Just let it go" (re my NM dying and my mixed feelings about that).  Yup, sage advice from a MSW clinician.

[Blueberry]

Another 'good' quote, though new to me, could turn out a fave though: Patrick Teahan talking about abusive families and childhood trauma based on his own experience and his clients' experiences "basically from age 0 to 20/21 it's one long gaslighting experience"

Hope nobody is triggered by that. Me, I seem in the mood to laugh rn. Of course it's sad, but we all know that sadness in and devastation to our lives. Patrick Teahan isn't suggesting that our experiences are/were something to laugh at. Just a spot of humour directed at our abusive parents

[woodsgnome]

Simon Parke: "Your past is a springboard, not a chaperone."

Yes, yes, yes, and again -- yes!!! The past -- it's there, but I'm not. My ego/memory wants to go there, but the real "me" doesn't.

I'm on a journey, finding my own pace, and space, in my own wilderness of mind. Yes, the mind can glance back; and yes, it affects my present. But I'm also -- NOT THERE, IN THAT PAST.

[MommaDew]

"If you always do what you've always done, you will always get what you've always got" 

Change can be empowering !

[woodsgnome]

"Sometimes when you're in a dark place, you think you've been buried, but actually you've been planted." CHRISTINE CAINE

from the book by Compton, Ellen. Good Things Happen in the Dark: A Candid Manifesto for Courageous Authenticity.

This imagery brought to mind the earlier (1908) book THE SECRET GARDEN and its subsequent serialization on BBC TV in 1975. Both of these were discussed by several people on this forum a few years ago.