Flashbacks with figures of authority

[Rainydaze]

I really panic at work whenever someone I subconsciously deem as being higher up/better than me addresses me. Specifically the panic occurs when someone approaches my desk, which I think is because I feel trapped. My main symptoms are a racing heart and facial flushing, the latter of which has a negative effect because I get embarrassed about how it might be misconstrued (all the men in the office probably think I fancy them!)  I really don't!!

Has anyone had any success in overcoming this kind of panic? I've read self help books and I take anti-depressants which help the free floating anxiety, but these social triggers are just immense and I'm not sure how to move forward.

[Three Roses]

Does this sound like what you're experiencing? "I have come to call these reactions...emotional flashbacks—sudden and often prolonged regressions ('amygdala hijackings') to the frightening and abandoned feeling-states of childhood. They are accompanied by inappropriate and intense arousal of the fight/flight instinct and the sympathetic nervous system. Typically, they manifest as intense and confusing episodes of fear, toxic shame, and/or despair." (From http://pete-walker.com/pdf/emotionalFlashbackManagement.pdf)

Yes, i have experienced this as well. My whole body tenses, getting ready for an assault, even tho i know it's preposterously unlikely.

I am a little better these days but still need to work on social anxiety. Good luck, hang in there!

[Wife#2]

I really panic at work whenever someone I subconsciously deem as being higher up/better than me addresses me. Specifically the panic occurs when someone approaches my desk, which I think is because I feel trapped. My main symptoms are a racing heart and facial flushing, the latter of which has a negative effect because I get embarrassed about how it might be misconstrued (all the men in the office probably think I fancy them!)  I really don't!!

Has anyone had any success in overcoming this kind of panic? I've read self help books and I take anti-depressants which help the free floating anxiety, but these social triggers are just immense and I'm not sure how to move forward.

This really rang my bell for incidents as an adult.

I've worked in many, many settings, so I do know that the setting you're in will matter to how you can find ways to cope.

I now work in an office by myself - which has TWO doors. If someone comes in one, I can still get out by the other. It has helped me tremendously to not feel so trapped. When any coworker or boss enters, I instinctively check the other door.  I still flush in the face when authoritative males enter the office, but I'm able to listen past my pulse in my ears and resolve why they're in there as fast as possible.

Is there any way to center your desk so you feel there is a circle formed, if he pushes towards one desk side, you can run out of the other, helping with that trapped feeling?

If it's a cubicle situation, can you set up a small mirror - like a make-up compact mirror - to allow you to just flick your eyes and see anyone approaching? That may give you time to practice a slow breath or two before turning around.

I don't really have any answers. But, I do have several personal rules - never alone (never be alone with a male co-worker, especially not a boss).

Teasing can be about most topics (then they think I blushed because of the topic), but NO physical contact. I don't allow male coworkers to touch me even on the elbow - I seriously protect my personal space.  I also tend to talk loud enough that the two folks in offices near mine can hear me. I don't know what I think that's giving me, but it makes me feel safer, so I do it. One other benefit about this is that gossips rarely trust me - I'm too loud to keep a secret (so they think).

I also plaster a smile on my face even if I don't feel it - any flushing then can be guessed to be part of the smile and less because of intimidation.

[arpy1]

that is really hard to cope with, blues_cruise. echoing what Wife#2 said, is it poss to make your desk so that you can have two 'entry and exit' points to your space? just a little change might really help find it easier to cope with this. also the EF management techniques, cos i agree, it does sound like it triggers an EF for you.
hope you can find ways to help b_c, 

[Rainydaze]

Sorry for taking a while to reply, I started this response a while ago but abandoned it when my husband came home from work. I don't like anyone looking over my shoulder when I post this stuff.

Does this sound like what you're experiencing? "I have come to call these reactions...emotional flashbacks—sudden and often prolonged regressions ('amygdala hijackings') to the frightening and abandoned feeling-states of childhood. They are accompanied by inappropriate and intense arousal of the fight/flight instinct and the sympathetic nervous system. Typically, they manifest as intense and confusing episodes of fear, toxic shame, and/or despair." (From http://pete-walker.com/pdf/emotionalFlashbackManagement.pdf)

Yes, i have experienced this as well. My whole body tenses, getting ready for an assault, even tho i know it's preposterously unlikely.

I am a little better these days but still need to work on social anxiety. Good luck, hang in there!

Thanks Three Roses.  Yes, Pete Walker describes it perfectly! Social anxiety is so hard to cope with when you know that in order to feel better you ultimately should be reaching out to and trusting people. It just feels so alien to me to be relaxed around anyone other than my husband!

I really panic at work whenever someone I subconsciously deem as being higher up/better than me addresses me. Specifically the panic occurs when someone approaches my desk, which I think is because I feel trapped. My main symptoms are a racing heart and facial flushing, the latter of which has a negative effect because I get embarrassed about how it might be misconstrued (all the men in the office probably think I fancy them!)  I really don't!!

Has anyone had any success in overcoming this kind of panic? I've read self help books and I take anti-depressants which help the free floating anxiety, but these social triggers are just immense and I'm not sure how to move forward.

This really rang my bell for incidents as an adult.

I've worked in many, many settings, so I do know that the setting you're in will matter to how you can find ways to cope.

I now work in an office by myself - which has TWO doors. If someone comes in one, I can still get out by the other. It has helped me tremendously to not feel so trapped. When any coworker or boss enters, I instinctively check the other door.  I still flush in the face when authoritative males enter the office, but I'm able to listen past my pulse in my ears and resolve why they're in there as fast as possible.

Is there any way to center your desk so you feel there is a circle formed, if he pushes towards one desk side, you can run out of the other, helping with that trapped feeling?

If it's a cubicle situation, can you set up a small mirror - like a make-up compact mirror - to allow you to just flick your eyes and see anyone approaching? That may give you time to practice a slow breath or two before turning around.

I don't really have any answers. But, I do have several personal rules - never alone (never be alone with a male co-worker, especially not a boss).

Teasing can be about most topics (then they think I blushed because of the topic), but NO physical contact. I don't allow male coworkers to touch me even on the elbow - I seriously protect my personal space.  I also tend to talk loud enough that the two folks in offices near mine can hear me. I don't know what I think that's giving me, but it makes me feel safer, so I do it. One other benefit about this is that gossips rarely trust me - I'm too loud to keep a secret (so they think).

I also plaster a smile on my face even if I don't feel it - any flushing then can be guessed to be part of the smile and less because of intimidation.

Wife#2, thank you for sharing. Although I don't like the thought of you suffering too it does make me feel less alone as it sounds like we experience similar reactions. I sit in a very small room with two doors to the front left and the main door to freedom on the front right. If people stay by the door I cope far better than if they approach my desk. I can't reposition the desk but I wonder whether having the window open next to me might help. I don't open it at the moment because it involves standing on my desk but the fresh air on my face might distract me a bit.

One fortunate thing for me is that there are rarely many people in at one time and they tend to stay upstairs. Me approaching their desks to speak to them also feels like a climbing a mountain but I'm trying to get used to it. I wonder if my desk thing is residual fear left over from school. I had a particularly terrible teacher who humiliated me in front of the class because I was prone to blushing (thus triggering my adult phobia I believe) and a teacher prior to that who shouted at me one day because apparently I approached him at his desk too often asking for more work. I guess when you have little confidence to begin with due to a parent who acts similarly at home then it sticks with you.

I also stick a smile on my face even when I don't feel it. It helps when the person I'm speaking to is smiley too but I feel a bit daft sometimes when it's supposed to be a serious conversation!

I think for a long time people at work thought I was a stuck up mare for being avoidant but hopefully I've been brave enough on a few occasions to be sociable and quash that a bit.

that is really hard to cope with, blues_cruise. echoing what Wife#2 said, is it poss to make your desk so that you can have two 'entry and exit' points to your space? just a little change might really help find it easier to cope with this. also the EF management techniques, cos i agree, it does sound like it triggers an EF for you.
hope you can find ways to help b_c, 

Thank you, arpy1.  To be honest when I started this thread I hadn't looked at the Pete Walker emotional flashback management techniques for months, so it's no wonder I've been getting lost. I'm going to print off the techniques and keep them in my bag so I have a reminder of how to help myself when I'm out and about. 

[Wife#2]

Blues - I'm glad you're getting a plan of action in place to help you cope with these things.