Feeling overwhelmed

[Albnsc2012]

Just formally diagnosed at 48yo and feeling overwhelmed. after reading some I feel a little anxious and scared. I have spent most of my life isolated except for a relationship for eleven years until she cheated on me. I am gay. Now I am wondering if will ever have friends or another relationship. 
I guess my desire is to be "normal" but why is it hard to be alone without friends when this has been a life long problem. I am also feeling hurt and angry at my FOO all of this. My mother caused so much trouble that I am not liked either. But I have always felt like an outsider.

[Three Roses]

I've always felt different. It always seemed that everyone else but me was in possession of some unknown, indefinable quality that made them able to communicate much better than I could.

I was diagnosed with ptsd almost 3 years ago now, at about 56yrs old. I was relieved and apprehensive at the same time; relieved I had an explanation for my difficulties besides just being inferior or stupid, and apprehensive about having to pursue therapy (which I still haven't done).

I researched PTSD and found that my experiences fit more closely with Complex ptsd, or developmental trauma disorder as it's also called.

We are all at different stages in our search for healing; some are older, some are younger.

You will have friends, you may already have them - sometimes we don't realize how important we are to others. As for a relationship, you'll have one if you want. And you're not an outsider here, that's for sure! 

Keep us posted on developments. We care about you.

[Dee]

My daughter brought home a magnet that shows a little girl asking what normal is and the mother responds that it is just a setting on the dryer.  I have not shared my difficulties with my kids, but obviously they know there is no such thing as normal.

I was extremely upset after my diagnosis.  On the bright side I think I had some feelings.  I have come to accept it as a necessary evil for me to get the treatment that I need.

I play a game with people, come here, no go away.  I think it is a coping mechanism, to isolate.  I don't understand and still have a lot of work to do here.  But I do know, from my short time here, you have friends here.  And the best part is, they get you.  There is no need to keep secrets, even if I still have some.  They will accept you no matter what.  I especially like that I can say things and I do not need to try to look at anyone.  I know it isn't the same.  In some ways it is better, but in other ways it isn't.  I do think it is, at the very least, good practice.

Also, I am 42.  There are a wide variety of ages here.  This is wonderful, but I especially enjoy knowing there are people my age here too.  Though, everyone's experience and input is very valuable to me.

[Kizzie]

Feeling different is a very common symptom of CPTSD and given there are 1800 members here thus far, it suggests you're not so different afterall.  You are an insider here and although none of us wants to deal with having CPTSD, it's great to be able to have somewhere everyone gets it, where you start to see what you're struggling with as symptoms of CPTSD instead of personality defects as many of us were led to believe.

   

[Contessa]

Perfectly explained Kizzie