How a TV series helped me recognise my inner child

[Sesame]

A while ago I really got into My Mad Fat Diary, which is a British TV series about a girl who is overweight, has very little confidence and has just been released from a psychiatric hospital. It follows her as she tries to reintegrate herself into the life she left behind, struggling with admitting the truth to her friends, trying not to relapse and trying to find a boyfriend. It may have some triggering content for those who struggled with self-harm and eating disorders, but it's a series that really spoke to me even if I didn't relate to everything she went through. Helps that it's hilarious, too! (Some things get censored, so please read the summary on imdb before watching if you think it will trigger you.)

Throughout this, she is seeing a therapist to help her adapt to the outside world again. It was one of the scenes with him that really did it for me. She was at a very low point, hating herself, insulting herself (much like she has an inner critic). Somehow they got to talking about her as a child (maybe he asked when these feelings started? Don't remember). At this point, he said he wanted her to imagine herself as a child, sitting in the chair nearby. He asked her to look at that little girl and tell her all the things she is telling herself right now. Tell her she's fat, tell her she's ugly and stupid... Since I had been relating to this so much, I had been doing what she had been doing and imagining saying these things to the little-girl version of myself got me crying so much. It was then that I realised how cruel I had let my inner critic be towards my inner child. It was such a revelation for me. It had been so hard to recognise I had an inner child, but this experience showed me that undoubtedly, I did, and I needed to start protecting her and building her self-esteem.

[sanmagic7]

good for you.  i've found so much to relate to by watching tv/movies, things that i've been able to use to help myself along this journey.  i'm so glad you found something, even with the tears it produced, that can keep you moving in a pos. direction.  kudos for being open-minded enough to recognize it.  not everyone is able to do that.

[Elizabeth Jack]

Star Trek: Voyager really helped me understand my relationship with my IC.  There is a character called "Seven of Nine."  She was stolen away from her family at a young age, and assimilated into a race of mech/cyborg people called the Borg.  She has to learn how to be human again, and every step into becoming human had its own set of challenges.
I had to guard my IC, and lock her away when she was very young, to protect her from the cold, militant, harsh, environment I grew up in.  I had/have to become human again.  Just like Seven of Nine.     

[meursault]

Elizabeth,

That is a great connection!  I'm going to have to keep that one in mind!

If you can find it, I highly recommend the movie Ink.  I get a lot from that regarding choices, corruption, rescuing innocence, inner child, redemption, struggles against loss and trauma.  It's a beautiful movie!

Meursault