Narc abuse causing cptsd

[Three Roses]

A good read!

http://thoughtcatalog.com/shahida-arabi/2016/04/the-secret-language-of-narcissists-sociopaths-and-psychopaths-how-abusers-manipulate-their-victims/

[radical]

Thank you.
All too familiar.  I so wish people understood psychological aggression, and that thes aggressors are getting away with it right under everyone's noses.  If the equivalent in physical damage was meted out by (so often) "upstanding" members of the community, they'd be able to be prosecuted and jailed.  Instead the community vilifies the victims, and that's part of the suffering these people inflict.

The thing is though, if these techniques were widely understood, the abusers would be the ones who would be claiming to have suffered them, chapter and verse, and they would be believed over us just abut every time.   My vicitmiser is so much better at appearing to have been vicitmised than I ever was.  The smear campaign continues.  This narcissists toll on others lives is pretty high now, but enjoys an unimpaired reputation, while mine is in shreds and I pay for treatment to deal with the abuse and the mess I have to deal with in living in the same community.

Sorry to rant - really bad day today.  Other days are much better.   It was useful to remember what I survived because I don't know that anyone who hasn't experienced it can begin to imagine it.  I felt like an  insect trapped in a spiders web, knowing that anything I did, or didn't do made my fate worse. 

All I can do is know the signs, enforce boundaries and move forward knowing that if necessary I would abstain from all human contact rather than ever go through that again.

Self pity ends.  I think I'll go do some journalling.

Is it okay to write like this here, every now and then?

[doodle22]

Ok this is my question to what N's do, or I need to get that book...yikes that is chilling info!! The so called "game" when going on around you (neighbor) in my case now, is me staying away, but even then the N seems to know, and then stuff is just completly made up, so it is hard to counter. One thing that I did was even tho I avoid her, if she is sitting in a group of people I will purposely walk right by, stop, say a few words to the group to show I am not intimidated by her. She has to adjust her behavior then sitting with her chosen peeps. example:I walked out, stopped in that group to pet a dog, and recounted a short story about animals/love...and then said "God works that way doesn't he?"  while looking directly at the N...and she seemed to not be expecting me to say that statement/seemed to catch her off guard me looking directly at her..and she half-smirked, and said Nothing!! I love animals and what I said was my true feelings, but I wonder if the N let her guard down just a tad around her peeps, and then could not react..then I left, another time she said something to demean me in front of this group passive-aggressively, I said "Thank You" and walked on by....I am trying the don't give her "fuel" and "become boring" to her routine....it is so very hard to "not" react defensively! I grew up with this, and I do not want it to rub off on me...fleas be gone!

[Three Roses]

Radical - rant away! It can be very cathartic to vent our feelings in a safe place like this forum. Your input is always useful. <3

Doodle - your tactics sound like they've made you feel empowered, so good job you! Useful info to keep in mind.  <3

[Rebuildingme]

I'm in so much pain. My mom has NPD. My dad is an enabler. My younger brother has at least two to three personality disorders and we are all no contact. My dad was just diagnosed with cancer and my mom is in the hospital yet again. I did not go. And now my one good brother is treating me poorly and his wife is not answering my texts. I'm tired of being made to feel bad. I was the abused one and have cptsd. I can't be there. Just looking for support. Ty.

[Three Roses]

  So sorry to hear! I want you to know, you're not alone. So many here can relate to everything you're going thru right now. The only one left in my FOO is my brother and I am NC with him, too. It is very difficult going thru family issues when our families are so volatile.

I hope you have good friends who you can phone - let us know how things develop, we care.  <3

[Rebuildingme]

Thank you. I'm sitting here crying at my desk. It hurts. I can't win either way. I have a good circle of friends and family but when the good ones ignore and judge  you it hurts

[Dutch Uncle]