Themes - Trigger Warning

[gongfy]

On an earlier post, one person referred to "themes" regarding their triggers.  I am beginning to discover my themes - e.g. control by shame, control by fear, abandonment, not being heard or understood, not being valued, etc. 

I have begun to create a trigger log.  And now each week when I see my T, we go back over the triggers and find memories attached to them.  It is a little bewildering really, there are so many. 

And the memories keep popping up out of their little hidey-holes.  It feels like a game of whack-a-mole; just when one is processed, another equally vile one takes its place. 

I am discovering that much of the damage wasn't just my FOO - it was the people around me as well - classmates, neighbors, teachers, other relatives, etc.  My family was so dysfunctional, so chaotic, and had such a refusal and/or inability to follow the rules of society that we were social pariahs wherever we went.   I am thinking it is this theme - the outcast from society, that is the absolute most difficult to deal with.  While the abuse and neglect that causes CPTSD in itself leads to a lack of a sense of belonging - moving over 50 times by the time I was 14 and being told repeatedly things like, "You don't belong here;" "My mom says you can't come into our house; "We don't want people like you in our town," has magnified this theme.

This is almost a daily trigger for me.   

Does anyone else have this theme, and have you found effective ways/tools for working through it? 

[sanmagic7]

i haven't had this particular theme, but i can relate to what you're saying about being triggered daily, working through one and another pops up.  and, i find the whole concept of themes interesting.  like it's an umbrella for many issues beneath it.  i want to begin looking for my own themes - it might make all of this a bit more organized for me, and easier to deal with.  i'm feeling completely out of whack right now, so some form of organization might help with that.  i'm glad you brought this up, but sorry i can't really give feedback on your concern.