Brain Battle

Started by Contessa, August 18, 2016, 01:10:28 AM

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Contessa

Was triggered last week and so the last few days my brain has been involved in a battle.

The desperation, impulsiveness, anger of the cptsd - versus - the calm, thought out, planned, gentle, respectful etc non-cptsd.

Non-cpsd did well for a few days but last night it lost the fight. It became clear that cptsd or no cptsd, neither of them were going to win what they were ultimately battling for. Actually, I think they both joined forces in the end to stick it up the opponent in the most confusing and infuriating way to them. Non-cptsd knows this has just made present life even harder.

Three Roses

 :hug:

We do what we can, when we can do it.

Some days are easier than others - some are way harder - it's not easy what we do, how we cope. Be gentle with yourself.

Dee


Isn't that the way it is though.  It is a battle, like the devil and angel sitting on your shoulder.  I don't know about you, but when the devil has a small victory I am very hard on myself.  Upset because I lost control.  I am telling you what I need to remember.  Be gentle with yourself.  Recovery is about ups and downs, relapses and getting back on track.  It is a marathon.  Instead of dwelling on what went wrong focus on what you can do to feel better now.

We all just have to hang in there and work on what we can right now.

Contessa

Yeah, very despondent because of that loss.

The last few days though, I have been seeing this as a positive - that there is even a battle in the first place. It showed me that the 'good' was beginning to fight back. Before it wasn't even there. Hopefully this is a step toward good winning a few more battles down the track. This is but a minor setback compared to a few months ago.

Thanks guys.