Actually met my inner child because of a Stroke...

[LaurelLeaves]

Your inner child is actually alive inside of you.  You think they are past memories, and how you feel now are the only feelings that matter.  But the way you felt as a child is still recorded in your brain.  You just can't access it normally... it's as if it was put in a file cabinet that is now locked.

Having a major stroke is not a good way to access these "files"!     But I did once a long time ago.  And I realized something about recovery from a stroke.  It seems like you loose a lot of memories when you have a stroke, but actually your memories are all still in your brain... it's as if ALL the memories are locked up.  And you have to remember them one by one.   And the interesting part is that you remember them in the same order you learned them.  And not only that, but you FEEL the same way as you did when you were younger, even though you know that you're older.

I actually felt the same way as I did when I was 4 yrs old, even though I knew I was in my 30's.  For me, it was a good experience, because it was before the trauma took it's toll.   I KNEW WHO I WAS, before I became invalidated.  Of course the feeling didn't stay... I remembered more, and the old feeling came back.  But it was an glorious experience.

I wish we could all access these memories of feeling like a complete person, before whatever trauma was done to us.
I know that they're in there.

[radical]

Wow.
Sorry you had a stroke, that must have been terrifying, but what an interesting experience. 

There is a fascinating talk on TED about the experience of having a stroke. I can't remember the speaker's name but i think the talk was called "Stroke of Insight"  The speaker who expereinced a stroke is a neuroscientist.  I'd dig it out for you, but i have to get off the computer and out into the world now it is light here.

Have a good day/evening/night, according to where  you are and what the time is.

[sanmagic7]

i find your experience fascinating, altho i, too, am sorry you had to have a stroke to have it.  i've never heard anyone speak of recovering from a stroke this way, re-meeting yourself as you were, etc.  the mind is a wondrous entity, for sure.  i'm just glad you made it through ok. 

[LaurelLeaves]

Thank you both of you.

I just watch that Ted Talk.  Thank you for mentioning it, Radical. https://www.ted.com/talks/jill_bolte_taylor_s_powerful_stroke_of_insight?language=en .  I think living in your right brain is a good idea.  I live in my left brain too much.

The brain is a mysterious thing, and anyone who recovers from stroke knows just how mysterious it is.  Things that you would normally put together, you find out were never together in the first place.  For example, understanding a language and being able to speak it.  When I woke up I could understand people, but I could only say "yes" or "no".  They said that was because those were the first words I learned.

[Dee]

I can see how that experience is still very important to you, and I believe it gives you a good feeling.  Though, please find away to get that feeling back without having a stroke again.  I believe there must be a way.

In a way I was sad when I read this.  I was sad that you had a stroke.  I was sad that you had to go back to 4.  I was sad that you don't feel complete.

I was also sad that for some of us, there is no before.