a party in my head

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Dee

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a party in my head
« on: August 22, 2016, 05:54:54 PM »

Recently I have been learning that there is a party in my head.  Some to the people attending are Ms. Perfection, who tells me I have to do everything perfect or I am worthless.  I have Mr. S. Harm, who tells me who cares, no one needs to know, do it anyway.  I have Ed, my eating disorder, who tells me I have to be the thinnest.  And the most hurtful one of them all, her name is Shame, who says I am different, marked, not worthy, bad.

Lately, I have started talking back to them and it seems to help, remembering to do it is the hard part.  So I have began to separate them from myself.  For example, I might tell Ms. Perfection that I don't need to proof a letter 10 times, once is sufficient, and it is okay to make a mistake.

I was wondering if others do this and how it helps them.  I was resistant at first, because it felt like an exercise for a teen, not an adult, but I'm trying to go with it.  Even if I feel a little more crazy for doing so.

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sanmagic7

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Re: a party in my head
« Reply #1 on: August 22, 2016, 06:14:33 PM »
personally, i think it's brilliant, dee.  making these voices more 'tangible' seems empowering to me, by allowing you the power to talk back to them, tell them to shut up or whatever you need to say to them to get around them and not have them run your life.  really creative way to look at this phenomenon, and deal with it.  kudos to you!!! 

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Dutch Uncle

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Re: a party in my head
« Reply #2 on: August 22, 2016, 06:20:20 PM »
 :thumbup: for starting to do this.
Yes, I've started too, and indeed the hardest part is remembering I should. But in a way it's comforting to know there's a party, as there is always somebody to turn to.
I hope in time you'll meet some kind persons at the party in your head too, as I'm sure they also hang around.

Your post reminded me of a (personal) story I found on the internet:
Having a conversation with the Hatchet Lady

I hope it touches a positive nerve with you.
It did with me.
« Last Edit: August 22, 2016, 06:25:05 PM by Dutch Uncle »

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Three Roses

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Re: a party in my head
« Reply #3 on: August 22, 2016, 07:58:32 PM »
Ooh Dutch, that was lovely! I think I'll do the same, find a name for her and start talking to her.

One thing I've done in the past if I'm not able to quell the IC's voice(s) is to make her/them speak in a helium-voice, or put a Groucho Marx nose & glasses on them, or something else that's silly until the voice just fades away. I figure, if they're harassing me, I can fight fire with fire. ;)

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Contessa

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Re: a party in my head
« Reply #4 on: August 28, 2016, 11:43:00 AM »
Brilliant. And Dee, what a perfect way to assert yourself :)

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woodsgnome

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Re: a party in my head
« Reply #5 on: August 28, 2016, 05:28:20 PM »
Dee wrote:  "Recently I have been learning that there is a party in my head."

The party is a neat concept to consider--rather than chasing the guests away in a reflexive get outta here, you're my enemy and ruining my life manner, you can accept that however they got in, they're there. You can be angry with them, ignore them, and so on; but be wary of upsetting them, 'cause then they'll look for revenge and try even more to snidely continue as your detractors. So you can subtly reverse the worry as to how they got in to your headspace by realizing it's still your party, not theirs, and you control the outcome.

As it's your party, one can learn the subtle art of hosting even the most bothersom guests in your own way. In the end, you can lessen your own stress by accepting that yes, they're there; but later--they've gone home, and never had a blanket invitation to stay. It's always up to you, but now you're allowed to be in charge of your own life in your own way.

Enjoy the party--it's for you!  :party:

PS--it's entirely sane to be crazy sometimes--it's called Crazy Wisdom!
« Last Edit: August 28, 2016, 05:31:04 PM by woodsgnome »

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Three Roses

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Re: a party in my head
« Reply #6 on: August 28, 2016, 05:37:49 PM »
I'm buying party hats and those blowy noisemaker things for all of mine. And earplugs for me.  ;)