CAN NOT BELIEVE I AM NOT ALONE

[simon]

A new friend of mine pointed me in the right direction as i considered myself a "freak" for so many years and have been moved to tears finding out that there are actually people out there that feel the way i do. Every thing that i have read on the forums i can associate with and has given me so much hope, i am still coming to terms with the fact that this condition has controlled so much of my life and still does ,but knowing that there is a specific reason for the way i am has been a revelation. I won't go into specific's at the moment as to why i believe i have c-p.t.s.d but my friend said when he read the information it was as if the symptoms were written for me. I could not agree more

[Dutch Uncle]

Hi Simon  and welcome 

What a revelation, eh?
I hope, wish and trust this site and community will be of aid in your recovery. 
After the first excitement of having found what you have been looking for for so long, please take a look at our Guidelines for All Members and Guests which are here to keep this a safe place for you and all other members.

Welcome again,

Dutch Uncle.

[Three Roses]

Hello and welcome! We're glad you found us. 

[MidnightOwl]

Isn't it the best to find people who just GET you? :-D

Reading Pete Walker's book on CPTSD made my life finally, after 31 years, begin to make sense. I finally felt validated and it was like being handed a glass of water in the desert.

[macandrui]

hi Simon, it's wonderful isn't it? just knowing that it isn't only you, and then that it isn't all that you are :-)

[movementforthebetter]

Hi simon! I hope you get a lot from being here. I know I have. So many new ideas for how to cope and heal in this forum. Welcome!

[sanmagic7]

so glad you made it.  these people are the best! 

[meursault]

Welcome!

I feel the same way!  We're not as alone as we maybe feel.

I read Judith Herman's book quite a few years ago and immediately felt that SOMEONE understood this.  Lots of years of diagnoses of depression, agoraphobia, social phobia, and only offered meds or CBT.

Meursault

[simon]

 :heythere:Hi thanks to everybody for your positive responses it has been a long week with a lot of reading and thinking.It has thrown up a lot of question's and made me question how i am living my life,one of the major question's that has been going around and around in my mind is if i strip back all the barrier's that i have what is left i don't like myself anyway but what if it's better the devil you know. I know that i have to change as i can not continue as i am and it will be a long journey,i am going to start a new thread outlining what has happened in my life and why i believe i have c-p.t.s.d i would like any and all feedback thanks everybody     

[sanmagic7]

personally, how it's worked for me, is stripping those barriers slowly (with help and support), and looking at, exploring, examining, and just being with the newness you uncover for a bit of time will give you a chance to know that part of you that has been exposed.  and, always remember to be kind to yourself, and patient with yourself (as best you can) while doing this uncovering work.  i have found a better version of me under all those barriers, and you may as well.   more honest, more real, weaknesses, sure, but strengths i didn't know were there.  someone i could not only like, but love.  still working on it, but it's coming along.  this forum has helped a lot.   so glad you're here.

[Three Roses]

Haha, I'm not sure I can comment on this with any honesty! My denial is so complete that I only let myself remember huge chunks of my past in my late 50's and have yet to tell one person the whole truth. So I'm looking at stripping those barriers and is getting pretty scary.

[sanmagic7]

3 roses, if i might suggest, go slowly.  same for you, simon.  taking off those layers of protection is a process.  one thing i learned is that it's like getting into a cool lake on a hot day.  if you jump in all at once, it might be overwhelmingly cold.  but, if you go in a little at a time, the coolness becomes refreshing instead of cold.  baby steps, absolutely.  when you are ready, as you are ready.  your pace, and the pieces you're willing to begin sharing.  the rest will come.

[Three Roses]

Good advice, I'll take it.