POSSIBLE TRIGGER: Am I being too sensitive?

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echolocation

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POSSIBLE TRIGGER: Am I being too sensitive?
« on: September 06, 2016, 02:33:38 PM »
Post removed at request of member - Kizzie
« Last Edit: November 02, 2016, 09:56:27 PM by Kizzie »

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theaquarist

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Re: POSSIBLE TRIGGER: Am I being too sensitive?
« Reply #1 on: September 06, 2016, 09:52:41 PM »
Hi echolocation,

That sounds like a confusing place to be in. Especially considering that you spent time with the two of them without knowing their subtext. I know many people who would not be OK with being in a situation like that. It's not respectful to keep you out of the loop.
These two have been keeping information from you. And I have experienced so so so many instances of ending a friendship due to lack of respect like that, but I didn't give the other person a chance to explain before I cut the cord. That's why this is what I would do (with what I know now, and the heartache of losing friends when it's already hard to make them. I don't trust hardly anyone either.)

I bet you can still have a friendship with her if you can decipher if she is a good friend and needs forgiveness, or not.

I hate to be direct but I'm not sure how else to phrase my advice. Please forgive me if I'm too direct.

Try having an honest, unassumptive chat with the woman involved. Have no expectations of her being good but misunderstood OR of her being conniving and untrustworthy: the black and white of the situation.
Ask questions and have her give you her story. You'll be able to tell if something is fishy. Let her show you her shade of gray so you can assess whether you value a friend with behavior like that, or not.

If you still don't know what to think, let it simmer. Tell her you need time to understand. Her consequent actions will tell you what she really is.

Hugs