Reprogramming the 4Fs.

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Reprogramming the 4Fs.
« on: October 28, 2018, 11:54:12 AM »
In my life I've always avoided taking risks when it involved people and situations involving conflicts. It hadn't been much helpful for my growth as a person. One key reason being my 4Fs (Fight, flight, freeze, fawn response).
I didn't have a normal childhood like other males. There used to be lots of constant fights amongst my parents who would then direct their manipulation and intimidation towards me to gain some sense of 'control' in their own lives.
During a conflict if I'm triggered I either fawn, freeze or flight. I know it's pretty difficult to change something as primal as the 4Fs. All the trauma I experienced as a child in my FOO and outside didn't make me strong or resilient when it comes to situations involving danger or a threat to life. On the contrary it has only scr**ed up and weakened the responses. Is it possible to reprogramme them using any techniques? Perhaps through interaction and acting through dummy scenarios in a group of survivors having same difficulties or ones who can now successfully tackle such situations? Or maybe martial arts?


Three Roses

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Re: Reprogramming the 4Fs.
« Reply #1 on: October 28, 2018, 03:07:08 PM »
I'm reminded of a discussion over on the "thoughts on from surviving to Thriving". Woodsgnome quoted from the book:
Okay, here's the list per BeHea1thy's request for the list of 4F 'good' traits:

'Positive characteristics of the FIGHT response include
assertiveness, boundaries, courage, moxie and leadership.

Positive characteristics of the FLIGHT response include
disengagement, healthy retreat, industriousness, know-how, and perseverance.

Positive characteristics of the FREEZE response include
acute awareness, mindfulness, poised readiness, peace, and presence.

Positive characteristics of the FAWN response include
love & service, compromise, listening, fairness, and peacemaking.'

Also, for me at least, I think understanding what each 4F response looks and feels like in me, helps me to understand and correct my actions, thoughts, etc from a knee-jerk reaction to a thoughtful response.



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Re: Reprogramming the 4Fs.
« Reply #2 on: October 28, 2018, 03:28:54 PM »
It's probably important to note that the 'positive characteristics' won't always magically appear in an upfront manner, but indicate something more like a reserve capacity that can help. Like a reminder that I can and do have the wherewithal to make it through.

As for techniques, I think it's primarily a matter of persevering in things that seem relevant, but again it's going to take some poking around to find what seems the most promising, as we're all pretty different in what will take hold. So it helps to peruse books like Walker's for ideas there.