I have no direction

[lostinspace]

Hello everyone, I am new to this forum. I was diagnosed with PTSD 27 years ago.
I have suffered from anxiety and paranoia, wishing at times that I could end the suffering somehow. I take Abilify and Tegretol to manage my symptoms, but, it is more than medication that I need.
     I was raised in an alcoholic home and was abused by both parents. I feel like a cry-baby saying that, like, I should be strong and just "get tough" about it all. There was a lot of betrayal and plenty os criticism in my childhood home, which I lived in for 22 years. My recovering alcoholic mother passed away 4 years ago and I havn't worked in about as long, maybe 5 years. I live in a sober living myself and don't feel motivated to do much, isolating whenever I can. I attend group therapy and go to church and that seems to help.
     MY question is,"what helps you to get over the symptoms of PTSD and do I have CPTSD?"

[Rain]

Welcome to the forum, and I'm glad you made your way here.

A question for you ...is your current therapist familiar with CPTSD?

We are support here.   I would say, if you see yourself in the posts, then you belong here.   

Stay for awhile.   Share more, be supported, and support others as well.

Please do read the Welcome Guidelines.  And, if you can go to www.pete-walker.com, then you can read more on CPTSD, and if you do see yourself in his free articles, then do check out Pete's book CPTSD: Surviving to Thriving.   Many of us here use it as a roadmap for recovery.

Do have hope ...there are more answers these days than in the past, so much more.

[schrödinger's cat]

Hi, and welcome. I hope you'll find something helpful on this forum.

I feel like a cry-baby saying that, like, I should be strong and just "get tough" about it all.

Oh, I can relate to that. I have to constantly battle that particular little voice. Several of us have said something similar too, to the point where I'm beginning to think it should be one of the defining characteristics of CPTSD: "a firm opinion that one is merely oversensitive and ought to grow a thicker skin". But at the end of the day, CPTSD isn't a character fault, it's a kind of injury. The rule is, if you're injured, you get to walk with a limp without having to think you're weak. If you dig a little bit, you'll likely find out that you are strong and tough. Living with CPTSD is energy-consuming, distressing, and hard. Simply just going to group therapy and to church can already be a victory worth slapping yourself on the back for.

MY question is,"what helps you to get over the symptoms of PTSD and do I have CPTSD?"

Uhm. I'm no therapist, so I've no idea whether or not you've got CPTSD. About the symptoms: the website Rain mentioned (that of therapist Pete Walker) is a good place to start looking for information. He's got CPTSD himself, and it's just clear in his texts that he gets it, he knows what he's talking about. There are several free articles on his website, so even if you don't buy his book, you can get a first overview about CPTSD. I'd recommend reading his articles on Emotional Flashback. They differ from PTSD flashbacks and can be harder to spot because they often lack the visual / auditory elements common to PTSD flashbacks. So what comes back up isn't a specific memory of an event, it's an emotion, a mindset, often mixed with physical symptoms.

CPTSD isn't something one gets over, strictly speaking. But one can learn to deal with the symptoms, a bit like coping with diabetes or learning how to bullfight. The bull will keep on making a dash at you, but you'll be able to dodge him better and better over time. You'll always have to do some general care and maintenance, but a fulfilled and rich life is a possibility.

Right now, I'd say what to do would depend on what's going on within you. You could tackle the most annoying symptom first, or you could start slow and tackle one you've got a good chance of success with. One thing you could do is try to see if there's already a thread someplace about a symptom of yours, see if something sounds helpful, and post your questions there. Or start a new thread if there isn't one already. You could also read Pete Walker's text on "13 Steps To Manage Emotional Flashbacks" (I hope I'm getting the title right, it's on his website). A lot of CPTSD symptoms are either caused by Emotional Flashbacks or made worse by them (I think). And EFs drain you of a LOT of energy, so slowly finding ways to soften them or cope with them could mean you have a bit more energy to spare, which obviously makes you better able to cope with other symptoms.

All in all, it's probably a good idea to pace yourself. It's tempting to tackle ALL THE SYMPTOMS right away, or to confront ALL THE TRAUMA as fast as one can. I tried that, and fell flat on my face. It's proven to be more helpful to tackle one eensy thing, and then to let myself rest from that a bit.

All in all, I wish you good luck. All the best for your recovery.

[lostinspace]

Thanks for the info. I heard that I was lied to throughout my childhood and fed misinformation about myself (and others). I am already 'breaking down' the lies and reprogramming my emotions! I' ve had such a negative viewpoint of myself . . . it paralyzed me. Lately I take contrary action, doing the opposite of how I feel, and learning I have GREAT worth. My parents neglected to transmit that  information to me.

[keepfighting]

Hi, lis,

nice to meet you on the forum!

I am sorry you grew up with such a bad image of yourself. By the sound of it, you had internalized it very deeply. Glad to read you are taking steps to reprogramme your emotions. Are you doing that with the help of CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy)?

One of my friends grew up in a household of alcoholics; I myself grew up in a household ruled by narcs and though our experiences differ in many details, we were both damaged in and by our 'family systems' and the roles that were appointed to us by self serving parents (and in my case also one sibling). It's so tough learning to recognize your own needs and emotions  when for so long it was easier to have none at all...

Looking forward to reading more posts from you and best wishes on your recovery!

kf

[alovelycreature]

     MY question is,"what helps you to get over the symptoms of PTSD and do I have CPTSD?"

The main things for me have been acceptance and finding meaning in my experience. Acceptance was the hardest part for me. I had horrible denial. Yoga really helped me with acceptance also. Now I feel I can manage my denial and do some reality checking with myself. Finding meaning is something different for everyone. For me, the meaning in my experience is I have learned to be compassionate and have chosen a field of work where I can help others.

However, everyone is different. Sometimes if you can think of things in the past that helped you with symptoms (being around friends, mindful breathing, hot bath, whatever) you can try to use those when symptoms come up. You know you best. In the beginning for me, literally saying out loud over and over, "I am safe. I am in control," helped me. What kind of symptoms are you having?