Narcissists At Work - A Cautionary Tale In How You Spend Lunch Breaks

Started by movementforthebetter, September 18, 2016, 07:37:40 AM

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movementforthebetter

One of my former coworkers is a major part of why I am here though I haven't talked about her yet.

My first or second day at my job, I ate lunch with her. She was kinda sisterly and I never had a sister so I thought it would be good to know her. She complained about her stepson the whole time and at first I thought she just needed support, so I leant a friendly ear.

That ear turned into every day at lunch, me as her narcissistic supply. She had nothing else to yalk about, and everything was "poor her". And she had kids, so she unquestionably had it worse, right?  :blahblahblah:   

It happened gradually, and before I knew it I was being sucked dry. I had to make excuses for not wanting to lunch with her. I sympathized with her stepson terribly and for her kids, as what she told me of her mothering, I considered abuse. Not overt, just the really painful covert stuff.

I spent that whole job in a huge EF where I went from helping her do her job to teaching her skills she should have already had to covering for her to arguing with her to staying late on a Friday while she went home because she had to pick up her kids. I'm not saying mothers don't deserve support, but slacking off and making everyone else carry the load is way too far. It was very triggering back to being parentified by my M, who evemtually started taking credit for my achievements while telling me I would never succeed.

I mention this now because she joined a social media site I have been part of for years, where I post my artworks, and one of her first acts was to take one of my images and add it to her profile with a "thanks, mftb" but no link to my profile. She intends to paint it. Didn't ask, just took. I haven't even worked with her in almost a year and one of our last interactions got me so angry I had to leave the building to cool off. I almost got to that point tonight but suddenly remembered the only way to deal with narcs is to not reflect them, be cool and boring. She stole one image. It's happened before. I have more than just one and mine is original thought and vision, unlike whatever she will create.

I still know who and what she is. She is also the first example of a female narc I have been sure of. My M, I'm not sure. This woman, though, is like every bad ex I've had... Come sniffing around later to see what else they can take from you when your guard is finally down again.

Just posting this as a cautionary tale, and advising others to stick to my preferred lunch pass-time - taking 1hr walks ALONE.  :disappear:

Dutch Uncle

Quote from: movementforthebetter on September 18, 2016, 07:37:40 AM
I have more than just one and mine is original thought and vision, unlike whatever she will create.
:thumbup:

Thanks for sharing.