First of all, please allow me to give you a warm welcome to the forum! We're glad you're here.
Congrats on taking a stand against your abuse, and taking back what is yours. That must have been an emotionally charged atmosphere for you, and everyone! If it were me, I imagine I'd feel like I was stretched tighter than I could stand.
You could try meeting her in the middle, and by that I mean acknowledging where you could have done things differently, in the interest of a smoother outcome (and with the benefit of hindsight!

) That's not taking the blame, it's just acknowledging your part in the incident. You don't have to apologize, just state facts.
Whether she did what you wanted or not, I give her credit for trying to be there for you, and inserting her presence into an already tense situation. She must have been uncomfortable, and possibly became "triggered" herself. So many of us here don't have a friend like that; you're one of the lucky ones.
You could start by saying up front what you've said here - you just want to talk about how you felt without placing the blame anywhere. That's a good start. Not "how she made you feel", but how you felt. And ask her what she was feeling too.
I hope you get this resolved, with your friendship intact! Thanks again for joining our forum. :hugs: