Dutch, I'm so glad you are here *hanging out on a board for Cptsd!* That made me laugh.

Thank you so much for your input and for sharing your experiences.
Dutch, I'm sorry to hear about your experience.
It does sound like they don't want to help you or that they don't see it as important, where as i thought that the longer you had been in that state and that you were finally asking for help- they would help you because all the years of damage.
You were so coragous to go to your doc.
I had a similar happen too, - the receptionist asked one time if what i wanted to see the doctor for was an emergency and i said i didnt know Told her what it was as i had to for her to decide and she though it was.
Doc said not an emergency and i explained receptionist though it was, and i was more concerned about what he thought of me than getting sorted.
I felt like such an inconvenience - they were very hostile at that sugary.
Had bad experiences with doctors- literally not being listened to when asking for therapy, saying i didnt need it, and one prodding me even though i said yes, it hurts.
Switched because of that.
Last doc i went to was nice. He put me on the list for long term therapy, though the wait was too long so i went private.
But i didnt go back for a follow up appointment as i freaked out. -He wanted to know how i was doing after me telling him why i wanted therapy. Really nice. Then i kept canceling. I felt like such a time waster.
Think i can back now despite that- but I'm scared of being invalidated and admitting I'm struggling is like a huge challenge for me. Im scared of being emotionally hurt - and its been re-triggered maybe due to one staff member invalidating and the other saying that I'm always fine, so we have nothing to talk about, before i even opened my mouth- and being honest is a struggle for me to begin with.
Not as worried about the SH as there are no fresh cuts and they are slowly fading. Thank you Dutch. Im just not sure i can afford it what with the money situation being a complete mess at the moment and i went for tests before and they found nothing wrong. i think more specialist testing might be needed if adrenal issues, as normal blood tests don't pick up on cortisol levels etc. and knowing my own subconscious stuff- it seems to project the outcome onto the outside world and i don't know how to control it.
Sorry if that was too much. Appreciate your support and understanding more than i could ever express.
