Actually C-PTSD?

[complexwendy95]

I am a 21 year old female who experienced bullying at a young age after an interstate move, watched two siblings go through extended hospitalisations within four years of each other, have had three family members diagnosed with depression, lost all high school friends after a messy year in 2012, and at the start of this year was verbally abused twice (once at a party, once in public) by an (ex-)friend of eight years, who has also harassed me and tried to turn people against me. I have lost friends from this incident as they continue to see him, and I cannot trust them or allow myself to because of the information I think he finds out about me. Symptomatically, I self-harmed on and off for five years, experience panic attacks, especially while stressed or confronted with the possibility of seeing the abuser or being near him or in any environment that reminds me of him, and avoid talking about any of these situations or my own feelings. I am only now starting to acknowledge how these events have affected me mentally, especially given the first incident of abuse occurred nine months ago and I have not been able to live in the state I viewed as normal (after multiple events like that my definition of normal was very different to a neurotypical one). My alcohol consumption has gone way up this year as I find I do not experience such anxiety or depression (for the most part) while I drink and can forget and be numb. I am just interested in whether these kind of events can trigger C-PTSD, or whether only the abuse and harassment could and it has landed on top of some kind of depressive or panic disorder that I had anyway, despite previous events throughout my life. Thank-you x

[Three Roses]

Hello and welcome, complexwendy95! We're glad you're here.

Post traumatic stress disorder or ptsd is from one event, or the circumstances surrounding an event. For instance, a car accident and the resulting medical and legal issues. Complex post traumatic stress disorder, or cptsd, doesn't refer to it being more complicated, it means the source of trauma wasn't just one event, but several (or many).

And yes, the traumas you've had in your life qualify. Sometimes we hear, "Oh, you didn't have it so bad," or "You shouldn't feel that way," which we refer to as secondary wounding (or "gaslighting" if done purposely to intimidate or control).

You have suffered traumas, any one of which could have resulted in you having symptoms of ptsd. Not that I'm a medical expert! Only a health care professional can diagnose you. But it seems your experiences certainly fit.

Hopefully you'll read and research here, and with more information you'll be able to see if you do have symptoms of cptsd or if it may be something else. In any event, warm wishes to you for peace & healing.