Differently gendered dissociative parts suffering gender dysphoria?

[mourningdove]

Anyone experience this or know about it? How to understand this and/or cope? 

[radical]

I want to acknowledge you in seeking to understand this.  I don't know, but someone else may.

[mourningdove]

Thanks, radical. 

[LaurelLeaves]

I know about gender dysphoria, but I don't know about differently gendered dissociative parts.  If your parts don't agree, I imagine that would be especially hard.  It's hard enough being trans.

[mourningdove]

Thanks, LaurelLeaves. It's very confusing and difficult to explain.

[mourningdove]

It hurts so much.

[Jdog]

Mourningdove-

I'm so sorry you are hurting.  I am gay and work with high school students who have a variety of sexual identities (I'm a teacher, not a counselor) and can appreciate the pain dysphoria causes.  Keep loving all of your parts- they are deserving of good care.

[mourningdove]

Thank you so much, Jdog! 

[Jdog]

You are very welcome, and hang in there.  Many of us are right behind you, cheering you on!

[Boatsetsailrose]

Hello mourning dove I can relate to it being painful ..
My experience has been I felt a boy part in me and it used to terrify me to death .. addictions took it away, along with many other issues ...
Last yr all  my addictions were in their place and I had a big realisation I am a gay women. Then shortly after I started to become more aware of my 'boy/ male part .. questions of 'of my god am I a boy ??!
Luckily I wasn't in this for too long and came to a clear knowing that I am 65% women 35% boy ( I say boy because I am only starting out ) .. the figures I came up with felt right and true .. I got my hair cut off stopped dressing for men and felt liberated and free and strong ... a yr lasted this is all still the case

So back to your question
Quote ' differently gendered dissociative parts suffering gender dysphoria'?

May I ask if you can explain your experience a bit more so I can understand ? If u don't want to of course don't .. but it's hard to get a picture just from the question

My understanding a lot of us have a male or female part I guess it's how much that shows up and in what ways ... I've always felt 'Tom boy ' now I can alow myself to feel and be it with all the thoughts that come e.g. In my manner, attitude , likes dislikes , sexual orientation and roles

It can be that an opposite gender comes as a way to represent something ... and not mean a person is 'gender mixed' as such
Psychology of the mind can be complex hey .. I know for me it's been about what I have felt as the truth when I have explored that has lead me to acceptance and integration
Be kind to yourself, some things take time.. I know not having clear answers on such a subject as this is frightening and really unsettling .. but answers will come and the relief will too

so the two areas to explore are - gender issues related to trauma and
Gender issues related to sex identity and sexual orientation

[Boatsetsailrose]

This forum really helped me

http://emptyclosets.com/

[Boatsetsailrose]

That should read 'a year later this is all still the case ' i.e. Feeling liberated and sure about my gender

[mourningdove]

the figures I came up with felt right and true .. I got my hair cut off stopped dressing for men and felt liberated and free and strong

That's inspiring and wonderful, Boatsetsailrose! I really appreciate your sharing of what you went through. It definitely helps me feel less alone. Congratulations also on overcoming addictions. That is a major accomplishment in itself, and also very inspiring!

I know for me it's been about what I have felt as the truth when I have explored that has lead me to acceptance and integration
Be kind to yourself, some things take time.. I know not having clear answers on such a subject as this is frightening and really unsettling .. but answers will come and the relief will too

That is so comforting. Thank you! It really is frightening at times and always unsettling. I hope you are right about the answers and relief coming in time.

And thank you also for the link. I will check it out!

Some of what you wrote reminded me of this video that I had found just recently:
"The Drive for Authenticity: Understanding Inner Sexual Orientation and Gender Diversity"
It's a look from the Internal Family Systems perspective.
*possible triggers in the video, because he abruptly gives examples of homophobic and transphobic slurs at two points*
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wL8M_gpbjTo

I really wish I could better explain what's going on for me. I struggle to explain it even to my T, because it's so confusing. And I've found that other parts will interfere when I try to talk about the issue in detail. I've only recently been able to maintain consistent awareness of the gender dysphoric part's existence, because other parts try to convince me it is not real and hide it from me.

Meanwhile, the gender dysphoric part thinks it is "the real me" and that the parts that don't like it are misguided protector parts. (But don't all parts think they are "the real me"?) I don't know what is true, but I do know that when the gender dysphoric part is prominent, it hurts beyond words. 

[Jdog]

These posts come at the end of Transgender Awareness Week in the U.S.  One might ask how or why only one week is given to opening eyes to this reality, but it's a start.  Many young people are becoming aware of their gender identity at ever-younger ages and our schools are beginning to look at this more seriously.  My district now has an option for a child to be recognized by their preferred name (versus their birth name) computer records.  Birth name is still there for things like grade reports sent home, etc., but on role sheets the preferred name can appear.  Sometimes this is requested by parents but it can also be a student requesting the preferred name, independent of a parent. 

I thought you folks would like a little good news on the topic.

[mourningdove]

Good news appreciated, Jdog. Thanks for that!

I found these pages last night about gender variance across different cultures, and I was comforted by the perspective they bring:
http://nonbinary.org/wiki/Gender-variant_identities_worldwide
http://nonbinary.org/wiki/Gender_variance_in_spirituality