Hi

[Paul]

Hi all,

After quite a confusing time in life, after reading Pete Walkers book I finally, an thankfully, think I am starting to understand whats going on and what steps I need to take.

Wishing everyone well 

[Three Roses]

Hello there, we're glad you joined us.

You don't say whether you identify with having CPTSD or being in a relationship with someone who does. Either way, welcome. 

[Paul]

Hi Three Roses,

Thanks for the welcome  , and just to clarify I can identify with having cPTSD.

[Kizzie]

Welcome Paul     How did you find Walker's book? I found it bit of a tough read, but so on the money. 

[Marja]

I've read and reread Pete Walker's book since I was diagnosed with cPTSD a year and a half ago. SO helpful! Hello and welcome, PaulC.

[Paul]

Hi Kizzie and Marji, thanks for the welcome   

I have zoomed through book and am about to start my 2nd read, tbh I'm likely to find myself doing very much what Marji has done and cycle through it quite a few times. I found it long-winded in parts, but I agree that it is bang on. Although it had a lot of stuff on grieving and getting angry which I haven't felt I've needed to do, which in truth concerns me a bit as suggests I am still in the denial phase emotionally or something... .

But at a general level it was such a relief to get a believable explanation that matched my experience of only having had partial success with approaches like CBT and other general "make yourself well through cognition " approaches. I'm not knocking them as I believe they have their place in the toolbox for good mental health, but I can now clearly see they are just 'a' tool for us to use, not 'the' tool that the can universally help us (an understanding which takes away guilt of "the only reason its not fixing me is I must be doing it wrong" or "I'm not putting in enough effort" etc). I guess its much the same as a hammer is useful for a plumber at times, but he wouldn't get anywhere is all he did was hammer stuff, no matter how much effort he put into using it! 

I'd been confused for so long (decades) as to why I could be quite confident socially on one occasion, and be highly anxious a few days later in another very similar situation (even when using the same CBT/thought tools I had done the first time round). Equally, I was confused about the extreme variance in how much negative comments hurt, (could brush them off one day, another day be mortified by similar ones) how badly I viewed myself/mistakes, levels of guilt and catastrophization – also why this variance could last days/weeks but of course, one word clarifies that – Flashback! Thanks Mr Walker! For me that insight was worth buying the book for.

I'll leave it there for now, but I'd also like to say thanks to you admin guys/gals for running this site/forum  , I was really pleased to find it, your time/effort is appreciated and I think it could be an excellent resourse.

[Kizzie]

Tks for the kind words Paul, always nice for us to hear 

I think what resonates with me and Walker's book is that he writes as both a T and as someone who suffers from CPTSD.  Some of his own examples -- e.g., what an EF felt like for him -- were so close to my own experience I immediately felt this confidence that he knew what the disorder feels like and then could explain it as a T in a way that I could understand/relate to.  Anyway, it's one book that does need re-reading I agree.

FWIW, I just wanted to mention that dissociation is a symptom many of us have so that may also be why you react differently on different days; that is, it may be that one part is more front and centre than the one the time before. 

[Three Roses]

I thought the book was kinda over-written, too, or long winded or whatever. But, got a lot out of it.

I can't recommend The Body Keeps The Score enough! Well written, easy to follow, and fascinating - our human brains are really marvelous. It's on youtube to listen to - parts 1 & 2 -

https://youtu.be/AfPpemk0PPg
https://youtu.be/2PI1oR3p1M0