Trying to make some sense of it all...

[sanmagic7]

you go, girl!

[Blossoming]

 Thanks sanmagic7! 

[Blossoming]

I love you sanmagic7!

Seriously, I appreciate coming here and reading your encouraging words.

I'm starting to get worried. I've lost 15 pounds from stress and not eating. This isn't good. I plan on kicking my husband out of the house on Friday so hopefully I'll be able to get back on track. I just keep telling myself only two more days. My brother has agreed to be our intermediary so if my husband needs something I've drafted a letter that instructs him to tell my brother so I don't have to talk to him directly. I've contacted a lawyer and got a Post office box set up so he can't steal my mail. I'm dealing with the money/bank on Friday while he is with his mistress. I'm trying to hold it together to take care of all the practical details. Wish me luck.

[Wife#2]

Surrounding you with hugs and courage and love and hope and friendship!

[sanmagic7]

love you right back, blossoming.  will be with you in spirit on fri.  it's gonna be a big day.  kudos to you for your courage and determination - warrior woman energy!!!  i hope it goes as smoothly as possible.  it sounds like you've done a good job of preparing in order to keep yourself safe.  that's number one.  (i think it's time to start eating again, tho.  you need that fuel to keep your mind clear and strong as you go through this.  it's important.)  big hug, my dear. 

[Blossoming]

Thanks for the moral support wife#2 and sanmagic7.

I'm afraid things might hit the fan tonight. I called to check up on him at work and he got mad and hung up the phone on me and now won't answer my calls or texts. I'm all set up to sleep in the spare bedroom and call for emergency help if he starts getting violent. He has never really gotten physical with me but he did with his first wife and I'm not taking any chances.

[sanmagic7]

well, here we go!  i'm glad you're taking steps to stay safe.  from that hang-up, there's really no telling what might happen, but i always would rather err on the side of safety.  there's always the chance that he may not come home tonite, either.  be prepared for anything but keep remembering, this is not your fault, it's not on you.  you're doing what you need to do for your own health and well-being.  best to you - hope it goes as smoothly as possible.

[Wife#2]

Blossoming, are you ok? Praying lots and waiting, hoping you have a moment to check in. 

[sanmagic7]

i'm with wife2 here, hoping you're all right.  i'll join her in this as well     

[Blossoming]

Thank you both! Yes, I'm fine. When he came home he said he was too upset to talk and I said "me too" so we just slept in different rooms. He left early for work this morning and when he called me he was crying. Maybe we will talk tonight. I dunno but I kinda like my new peaceful bedroom.

[Wife#2]

 

[Three Roses]

 

[Blossoming]

He wants to talk tonight. He's really mad about me checking up on him. Oh well, I guess if he were trustworthy I wouldn't have felt the need to check up on him.
I'm real emotional but I suppose that's to be expected. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt I will be better off without him but it's still hard after being with someone for 18 years. It's good though that I'm starting to think about life without him. He suggested I spend the weekend with my daughter to 'getaway'. Hmmm, that's not the least bit suspicious. That's the most hurtful part. His actions scream that he is being unfaithful and lying but he keeps denying it and gaslighting me. It's devastatingly hurtful but it will be over soon.

[sanmagic7]

good luck with the talk tonight.  be careful and stay safe.

i'm glad it will be over soon.  good news.  you don't deserve this kind of treatment.  big hug, blossoming.

[Blossoming]

Thanks again for the encouragement sanmagic7.

I'm mostly writing this out to get it off my chest and so I don't forget as what happened is a perfect example beyond the infidelity of why I am getting out of this marriage. I would never expect anyone to stay with someone who treated them this poorly.

Husband came home from work and within 15 minutes of being home (he said he wanted to talk to me earlier) he got a call from his brother and made plans with him. He is now at a bar drinking with his brother while I'm sitting at home in my new bedroom. I'd normally be deeply hurt as I have been too many times to count in the last 18 years but sadly I'm used to being the least important thing in his life. In all fairness he did invite me to go but I said no. Like I'm really in the mood to sit at a bar with him and his brother right now. I did get the GPS tracker put in his car though so when he gets together with his mistress tomorrow I will have undeniable proof and he can no longer gaslight me. I can't even believe this is my life right now. It can only get better from here. I am proud of myself though.