The Awakening - Review moved to its own thread, due to length

[Sandals]

*gulp* I am attending The Awakening workshop this weekend.

This workshop is so *not* something I would have ever done before. But I've come to the realization that I need to do something different and something big, so I'm taking a leap of faith on my T's recommendation that this could be helpful to recovery.

The link gets into a lot of details, but she has framed it for me as an opportunity to remove fear and therefore to see love. Self-acceptance is, of course, a big part of it too.

Please, any pixie dust or prayers, what-have-you, would be most welcome. I've told my T that my biggest fear is not being able to open up to be able to this and therefore not receiving any benefit...and also disappointing her. She has been great and said that there is no disappointing and everything will move at my own pace. And she will also be there for me, which is wonderful.

[Rain]

So what religious denomination is this, Sandals?

Unitarian or Unity?  The church of "Unity of Vancouver"?

And, your therapist will be AT the event?   

I've always thought therapists were only supposed to see us in their offices, not in "real life."   Maybe it is different in Canada.

[Sandals]

Rain - I had major hesitations over the religious side of it, too, esp. the ref. to ACIM. My T says that the focus of the course is not on the religious aspect of it, but on the healing that comes from it. Of course, I had to do a ton of research on ACIM to feel comfortable with that, and saw it show up in Chopra's list...which make a kind of sense from a healing perspective, that is.

My T went to Clearmind as a student, years ago. They are a school that trains RPCs in addition to the workshops offered. They use a blend of psychology, including transpersonal/spiritual perspectives (content and context). The workshop facilitators are RPCs and the assistants are usually students in the program. Since my T had been in the program, she asked if I would feel more comfortable with her there as an assistant (I said yes) and she received permission.

I have no hesitations with my T being there, it was the religious aspect that made me uncomfortable. But with that removed, I feel more open to receiving new ideas/foundations.

[Rain]

Interesting.    Thank you for explaining.

What is ACIM?   RPC?   Must be Canadian terms, or is it part of this spiritual group's terms?

[Sandals]

RPC = Registered Professional Counsellor. More of a generic term for a certified designation. Must have this to be part of CPCA, Cdn Prof Counsellors Assoc.

ACIM = A Course in Miracles. This is where my resistance lay...but again, I trust my T. She gets where I'm coming from & today we talked about what I would feel comfortable replacing the word "G**" with, if it did come up. I haven't yet decided that...it may just be something as simple as "love" or maybe "humanity". I get a lot of Buddhist vibe from the readings I've done on it. 

Below are some bite-sized summaries. It's definitely a risk, not something that I would have seen myself doing. But I need to get unstuck from where I am. It's definitely not a traditional linear path for healing from c-ptsd, but maybe that's what I need. Who knows.  Will come back with a review next week.

It's seeing love--G**--in all situations, in yourself, in everyone you meet, something that takes serious practice, study, and dedication--especially in this city.

The best thing about this growing movement--yes, I've seen my friends replace retail therapy with meditation--is that it's introducing more and more people to A Course in Miracles (ACIM). Marianne Williamson and Eckhart Tolle, spiritual advisors on Oprah, derive their books and teachings from this life-changing course.

Though it's a huge book, which I like to use as my magic eight ball of answers, ACIM has a simple message it gently teaches in a coaching, loving Voice, in the Voice of C*****: you have two choices when it comes to your freedom of choice--fear and love. That's it--that's what every "problem" in the world boils down to. And fear cannot exist since it is not a part of G**, because anything outside of G** is death. Then you simply have one choice--and that is love. Love is life and peace, and a mind at peace communicates with G**.

[Sandals]

Rain - you sound *exactly* like me.

I sent the below to my T this past weekend - and I even told her I was too introverted to do something like this. 

This article pretty much sums up my thoughts on religion and why I am wary of any theories based on religion or theories which use predestination as justification for why undesirable events occur. The sentence below is at the heart of it all.

"The logic of the religion is circular and blames the victim for problems; the system demands deference to spiritual authorities no matter what they do"

Some religious beliefs can create habitual thought patterns that actually alter brain function, making it difficult for people to heal or grow.

http://www.alternet.org/belief/how-conservative-christianity-can-warp-mind

Sent via Flipboard

But...at the end of the day, and this is just my personal opinion, I feel that to heal I need to believe that I am *worthy* of healing. And that feeling of being worthy is ultimately tied to self-love. That's the foundation of it all and even with a small start, just some green shoots, I will be on a path to help eliminate (or reduce) shame, guilt, fear, anger, etc.

This is way more "woo" than I would have been even 2 months ago. But when you're knocked down to the very bottom, sometimes you see that there is a different way to rebuild.

Thanks for having this conversation with me.  I really appreciate all of your thoughts and questions, as they help me better understand myself.

[Sandals]

Just realized I didn't get back to your thoughtful note on DBT. I haven't experienced a focused-type of DBT therapy, but do appreciate the mindfulness approach. However, for me, even this starts too far up the chain and assumes the presence of self-love and worthiness, which are needed to (imo/in my opinion) to effectively implement the observation skills required for the mindful approach. I need to start deeper - again, this is just me, might not be true for anyone else.

[Rain]

Thank you for what you shared, and I will read that link.    And, yes ...mindfulness, self acceptance, loving one self.   Skills and gifts we would have normally had in a healthy upbringing.   For me, I think the mindfulness teaches self-regulations ...learning how to manage our emotions.  Non-attachment.

I think it wise you question organizations, etc.   Very good.

The nice part of the forum is that there is an online support here to run things by, and learn from.

[Sandals]

And, yes ...mindfulness, self acceptance, loving one self.   Skills and gifts we would have normally had in a healthy upbringing.

Yes, yes, yes. 

Glad to have your company here, Rain. 

[Rain]

Ditto, Sandals.

[schrödinger's cat]

I'll keep my fingers crossed for you this week-end, and if I can scrounge up some pixie dust, I'll send that your way, too. Best of luck.

[keepfighting]

Hi, Sandals,

I like that you're trying to open up and do something that is out of character for you - that is so courageous! 

I also share all of Rain's (and your own) concerns about this weekend. Many red flags flare up here, too much enmeshment for my comfort.... 

I've told my T that my biggest fear is not being able to open up to be able to this and therefore not receiving any benefit...and also disappointing her. She has been great and said that there is no disappointing and everything will move at my own pace. And she will also be there for me, which is wonderful.

I woke up thinking of your post, Sandals, and another similar issue where "one does not want to disappoint the therapist."

I think of our childhoods where, in many cases, we tried to jump over mountains trying to please parents.    Now, it is "please therapist" ...as we hand them a check to pay them.   

+1000

Pete Walker describes in his book "CPTSD - From Surviving to Thriving" that the willingness of a client to do something to agree with the t and the willingness to try to please him/her (fawn response) is a sign of how deeply traumatized the client was. I forgot what he said after that - I was too disturbed by this observation in general since the shoe fit too well for me...

Anyhow, have a great weekend, sandals. Take care of yourself. 

[Sandals]

I woke up thinking of your post, Sandals, and another similar issue where "one does not want to disappoint the therapist."

I think of our childhoods where, in many cases, we tried to jump over mountains trying to please parents.    Now, it is "please therapist" ...as we hand them a check to pay them.   

Yup - total transference.    Knew it was happening & wanted to be sure to set expectations going in. Glad that the expectations are that there is no expectation.  Not that there should ever be, but it's hard (for me, at least) not to feel that way.

I'll keep my fingers crossed for you this week-end, and if I can scrounge up some pixie dust, I'll send that your way, too. Best of luck.

Thanks, cat, appreciate it. 

Hi, Sandals,

I like that you're trying to open up and do something that is out of character for you - that is so courageous! 

Thanks, kf. This might sound strange, but I find it's sometimes easier for me to make the right moves if I manage myself as I would a business (I work in the business world, so it's familiar and easier to be objective). So I see this as something that is not an established or proven method based on current capabilities and is rogue. But sometimes those things can prove the most powerful.

I also share all of Rain's (and your own) concerns about this weekend. Many red flags flare up here, too much enmeshment for my comfort.... 

<snip>

Pete Walker describes in his book "CPTSD - From Surviving to Thriving" that the willingness of a client to do something to agree with the t and the willingness to try to please him/her (fawn response) is a sign of how deeply traumatized the client was. I forgot what he said after that - I was too disturbed by this observation in general since the shoe fit too well for me...

Anyhow, have a great weekend, sandals. Take care of yourself. 

I hear you - and there's a chance the whole thing could be a bust. Just to be clear, I wasn't pressured into doing this by my T, and did think through all the -ves before committing. (Sorry if this sounds defensive, not trying to be, just wanting to ensure deets are there.) But sometimes you have to take a risk - and risks do fail. Hopefully, if this fails, I'll gain some more knowledge about myself from that. At the worst, it's a few days & $.

In an ideal world, religion does have a lot of upside to it - communities, positive messaging, compassion, etc. It's really the politics and people that make it fail. I think that's why the humanitarian movement is gaining traction - it's lifting those elements without a commitment to dogma, etc. (My cynical side wonders how long that will last.) Perhaps the cafeteria-style of commitment I'm going in with will inhibit the impact.

I asked my T early on how much of this work (not workshop-related) was really about just changing our belief structures to fit our current reality and induce healing. She said to let her know when I figured it out.  Ha. My perspective is that this is similar. But I could be wrong. We'll see!

[Rain]

I forgot what he said after that - I was too disturbed by this observation in general since the shoe fit too well for me...

Oh keepfighting, how you got me laughing with that "since the shoe fit too well for me..." as I've been there too in days gone by.   

I forget what Pete wrote too after that ...time for me to go check, me thinks!!!   

[Sandals]

Thanks again, Rain.

Tomorrow is wheels-up and away I go! I have decided to substitute any reference to god with the word "life" instead. I'm nervous and excited and curious and scared, all in the same breath.