Narc husband

[Freefallingfreedom]

Hi everyone! I'm new here I recently got out of a 10 year marriage with a covert narssicist.  It wasnt until the last 6 months of the relationship  that i truly understood what he is and what he has done to me mentially and emotionally.  Thankfully he left me 6 months ago or I doubt i would have even been set free. He has tried coming back numerous times and while i dont allow it it does trigger so many emotional flashbacks. Sometimes its hard to pull myself out of it. I have to constantly remind myself I'm not trapped anymore.

Anyway i just wanted to say hi and hopefully make some new friends

[Three Roses]

Hello and welcome! We're glad you're here.

[sanmagic7]

hi, so glad you're here.  i'm sick right now or i'd write more.  i, too, was married to a narc hub for 20 yrs.  the toll it's taken, what he did to me, took from me, how it's affected me is nearly indescribable.  just wanted to let you know i can relate.  big hug.

[mourningdove]

Welcome!

[Dee]

Good for you for getting out.  I stayed for 20 years and I am recently divorced trying to overcome what I now understand to be 20 years of abuse.  It wasn't until after I detached that I could look back and understand how bad it was.  I did not recognize that as abuse.  I still keep looking for someone to tell me when, what, why, and how to do something or even how I should think.  I go to therapy and my T tries so hard to give me control and it is so uncomfortable for me.  One positive note, I now feel like I have the right to buy me something without permission.  I went overboard for a month, but considering I didn't buy anything without permission (to include food) for the last 20 years it is okay, and I really love my new sunglasses.  Enjoy the small victories and I think it is normal to miss the familiar.  It just takes time.