My inner critic is vicious . . .

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alliematt

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My inner critic is vicious . . .
« on: October 17, 2016, 12:55:34 AM »
My inner critic was probably spawned out of an environment of getting bullied.  It tells me that I am dumb, stupid, ugly, a fat cow, and that no one likes me.  It also tells me that I will never be good enough. 

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Dee

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Re: My inner critic is vicious . . .
« Reply #1 on: October 17, 2016, 04:45:29 AM »

It's a good thing our inner critics are wrong.  If they were not I would be selfish, worthless, fat, a fraud, and never as good as anyone else.  Lately I am a has been.  So I have to tell my inner critic that it is wrong.  Sometimes I have to point out achievements and accomplishments.  Sometimes I have to talk back out loud.  Sometimes I just have to tell it to shut up!

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alliematt

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Re: My inner critic is vicious . . .
« Reply #2 on: October 17, 2016, 01:42:37 PM »
I'm a writer.  The main character in the story I'm working on has been in a pickle for most of the story.  I am threatening my inner critic that if she doesn't shut up, she can join that character!

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Face

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Re: My inner critic is vicious . . .
« Reply #3 on: November 05, 2016, 04:24:35 PM »
Mine is too. Definitely also from the bullying. I am struggling especially hard with that right now as well. It loves to pile on the evidence of how not good enough I am, which can be paralyzing in the extreme.

I think the bulk of the work in the beginning, as Pete Walker points out, is learning to see the inner critic and disable it. I find that allowing myself to get angry at it (or at least stern with it) helps. Even aggressively talking to it, like if you don't say something nice to me right now, then shut the bleep up. Sometimes giving it a face in your mind, like some ridiculous avatar, helps to see it as "not me".

Other times I use reason, but kind of sarcastically-

IC- "You will NEVER be as good or worthy as everyone else!"
Me- "Oh yeah? So your saying EVERYONE is better, ALWAYS?
IC- "Uhhh.... yes?"
Me- "So like, ALL the time then? Really?!?"
IC- "errrr.... "
Me- "yeah dude, shut up."
« Last Edit: November 05, 2016, 04:27:27 PM by Face »

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bring em all in

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Re: My inner critic is vicious . . .
« Reply #4 on: December 19, 2016, 07:04:36 PM »
I haven't gotten to the chapter on inner critic in Walker's book yet, but I'm looking forward to it. My inner critic says that I am ugly and inferior. I used to watch Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer and wish someone would take me to the land of the misfit toys. I firmly believe that I am sub-human-unworthy of love and friendship. I perceive any compliments as pitying me. I resist the urge to try to make friends because my inner critic says I would be imposing myself on them and that the only "friends" I've ever had in my life associated with me because they felt sorry for me.

I would love to "join the human race" but my inner and outer critics have consistently reinforced how different I am. I was bullied as a child-especially as a student. I was bullied by children again as I recreated my childhood torment by becoming a teacher. I experienced some bullying from administrators and other teachers. My first wife was brutally bullying.

All along I've wanted to tell all the bullies- "You can stop now! I've learned to do this on my own!"


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Joeybird

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Re: My inner critic is vicious . . .
« Reply #5 on: January 05, 2017, 11:05:07 PM »
Mine is vicious too. And she sounds just like my mother, who has been dead for a long time.

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jdcooper

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Re: My inner critic is vicious . . .
« Reply #6 on: January 28, 2017, 02:16:00 AM »
Mine has been vicious lately too.  I am a failure; I can't get my career path straight; I make stupid mistakes.  Pete Walker suggests getting really angry at the inner critic.  Put the blame where it belongs-on the people that inserted that critic in the first place.