I'm doing better

[Joeybird]

I am now going to therapy only once a month. I had a breakthrough -- I realized that this is what I'm like and I've accepted it, and stopped giving myself a hard time about it -- thinking I should be better. It's such a relief to do this -- it's like a weight has been lifted. So I will still have bad days, have bouts of anxiety, and that's okay. I can get through them. Before I fussed and whined about them, and made myself feel worse.

[Three Roses]

I'm glad you're feeling better! 

I'm a little concerned that you say you "fussed and whined" about your distress. It sounds a bit like something an Inner Critic would say. Sometimes, we need to be honest about how we're feeling; sometimes we need to let our inner children have their say, and give them the freedom to express themselves freely as they were not permitted before. And sometimes, what we need is acceptance.

In any case, I'm glad you feel better! 

[woodsgnome]

Joeybird wrote: "I realized that this is what I'm like and I've accepted it..." Congrats ; it's a level we don't always realize--that we're already started on our new journey, even amidst all the leftover difficulties that easily pop into view. But just as easy (which we forget) is to realize that each new step can bring a fresh perspective as we journey on. A favourite author of mine puts it this way:

"Know that a new life can only grow from the earth upon which you stand. A new painting must always begin with a canvas. Use the canvas that is given now. Even old canvases can hold fresh paint."  ---Jeff Foster

[woodsgnome]

One little addendum to what I wrote above.

You wrote of acceptance. So often that's taken to mean resignation to crummy fate and past circumstances. It can; but what you're expressing speaks more to active acceptance. You know where you were on the trail, its real effects. And how you've struggled with that...so far! But in accepting that, you also accept that you have other options than to merely stay with the past steps.

Thanks for pointing that out, Joeybird. I'm sure this seems trite to many, but I know I need to be frequently reminded of that simple truth; to accept and actively be creating a fresh outlook, from where I am now (the only place I can be).

[Joeybird]

Thanks for all the responses.

I'm definitely using active acceptance. But I am working on the things that I can change. Have actually started dealing with my messy apartment.