[ukulelebadly]

I have recently come to a place in my recovery where I have lost much of my ability to dissociate from my emotions, but I don't yet have much ability to contain myself or self-soothe/regulate. I feel raw and overwhelmed and hyperaware of my emotional pain most of the day, every day, waking and sleeping, for about two months now. I just joined this group, and am comforted by discovering so many similarities with others. I feel validated. This experience is real and specific and has an identifiable cause. That's helping immensely. But, I'm worried that reading the forum might also be triggering me more than I can handle, and may keep me stuck in this uncontained emotional hurricane. I would love feedback from others.

[Dee]

Mostly, I feel validated and a sense of somewhere I belong.  I've only started looking in the board about perpetrators.  I also pay attention to trigger warnings.  I have been triggered, but that can happen anywhere.  I sometimes am triggered seeing something on TV, reading something, in a store, it can come at anytime.  At least here I know what I am reading and it is labeled with a trigger warning.  I also read this in a place where I feel safe.  The sense of belonging and validation is priceless.  For the first time I don't feel so crazy and alone.

[radical]

Hi Ukelelebadly,

You raise an important point.

When i feel overwhelmed, I go away.  I think it is vital to be able to be here when it helps and leave when it is too much.  I find this such a valuable, validating place, but sometimes it's too intense for me.  We can all come and go, participate or not, according to when it's helpful and when it's not.

Also, I don't read everything.  I seldom read personal journals (my own book journal is very private) and usually only read posts by new people when I'm feeling upbeat, not because of any kind of snobbery, but because it's not helpful  to feel more responsible than I'm able to be.

Also, I try hard not to feel "needed" when others are in distress, and to trust that the group will provide.  There are enough people here to keep the load of responding manageable.  I hope if anyone is overlooked when in need of kindness, the moderators will alert the group, so that if others are in a place to be able, they might pitch in and offer support of some kind.

Welcome, btw.

[Butterfly66]

Hi Ukelelebadly

Welcome, I'm new on here too and also I have the same concern about the possibility of being triggered by reading posts on here so I can resonate fully with what you are saying. 

 

[prairiewind]

I'm prepared here for tough subjects to come up so haven't felt triggered so far in reading posts. It's the stuff that is unexpected that triggers, a tv show that flashes on, and lately anyone in customer service who is mean, even to someone else in line. I think that might be the fear of not being heard.

[papillon]

When I first came to the board I was in bad shape and so easily triggered that it's almost funny in hindsight. I had more than a couple panic attacks sparked just from the way the emojis dance around on screen while you're posting. Talk about hypervigilance!!

I think I'm moving past the place you described of experiencing the flood of entirely unchecked emotions, but I know it well! It's brutal to be emotionally dis-regulated.

First & foremost: protect your recovery!!!!!

There's a great deal on here that I don't read for the risk of being triggered. I avoid the journals altogether, but I'm thankful for those of you who are able to engage with people's stories in the journals. It means so much to be validated in that way!

Trust your intuition, you will know where to draw that line for yourself. And in case you don't... this is the perfect opportunity to practice getting in touch with your intuition. Ask yourself if the title or first line of text is upsetting to you, really check-in with your body and thoughts. If you experience a shift (elevated heart rate, suddenly tapping your foot, chewing your nails, clenching your fists, etc.) then be honest with and kind to yourself and step away from the forum.

As for getting stuck, I've wondered the same thing. I tend to come here to read posts when there's something going on in my life that I want to avoid thinking about. It's something of a security blanket. I do think it would be healthier to stop myself when I come to the forum and give myself some kind of self-care first (bath, food, etc.)... then proceed to the forum if it's still of interest to me and I'm sure I'm accessing it for the right reasons.

Hope my experience is helpful to you!