Hello from the UK

Started by Butterfly66, November 04, 2016, 08:07:16 PM

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Butterfly66

Hello

Anyone else on here from the UK.  This is the first time I've joined an online group, so huge baby step for me. 

I have not been diagnosed with CPTSD but from reading Pete Walker's information on his website it really resonates with me.  I've had depression for 23 years and over the past few years have been able to start feeling again which seems to co-incide with the symptoms of EF and being so easily thrown into emotional turmoil and fright flight, noticing disassociation.

I have been off meds for years and taken the alternative route but nothing seemed to help.  A few months ago I started doing some mindfulness meditations and soon began to realise that whatever I do I become obsessive about it, I was with myself for hours and hours not wanting to come out of the semi consciousness and relief from daily life these meditations brought.

  About a month ago I started taking homeopathic remedies and I started having some body work with someone experienced in trauma. Has anyone come across Peter Levine's work?   Since then I had an emotional connection to a traumatic experience in my past, like a mind, body and spirit realisation that it happened to me, such strong emotional processing since, been struggling to function, but using the time to hold myself with a teddy and hot water bottle and teddy, just caressing my face and being with myself, colouring, drawing and writing, constantly asking myself what I need, just want to be held, letting emotions flow when they can.   

This week I had an intense session with my T where I followed through some emotions/ sensations through my body, with deep breathing checking the room for objects when I wanted to disassociate with the T's direction, it just seemed to go on forever, then I went into a freeze response, the energy in my arms was intense and electric and my arms were frozen, it just shows the strength of energy held in the body with trauma.  I then started to connect to my hands and immobilise. When I connected to my hands I couldn't stop touching them and I said I have missed them, that really shocked me.  The T then sat on the floor with me and held and rocked me, I felt really good after this until the next day when I plummeted again.

I didn't intend to write so much, but I have and will leave it at that.  I feel thankful to have found this space to talk to others who understand.

Wife#2

Welcome, Butterfly66. I'm not from the UK, but thought I'd post a welcome anyway  ;D

This is a wonderful site to help ease the pain, find solace and fellowship with people who really, really understand what you're going through.

I tend to be an overwhelming chatty one, so I'll restrain myself today. As others will say, welcome, there are lots of GREAT tools, many wonderful people here and this is a safe place to supplement the healing work you're already doing.

Again, welcome!

Three Roses

Hello, Butterfly! Glad you're here :D

We have members from almost every continent, and I know I've seen some from the UK.

Yes, you have found a group of people who "get it"! If you're anything like me, you are inwardly shouting "Finally!"

Thanks for joining :hug:

sanmagic7

nope, still not from the u.k., but a warm welcome anyway.  so glad you found us.  this place has been so helpful to me, and i hope you can find some of the same support and kindness i have to help you continue your own journey. 

Fen Starshimmer

Hi Butterfly,

Welcome to OOTS!  :wave:

Yes, I am most definitely from the UK. It's noisy out here tonight on Guy Fawkes day!

Well done on keeping off meds and going the alternative route. I see some parallels here with our experiences  :) I've tried all sorts of natural therapies too with varying degrees of success.
Peter Levine's Waking the Tiger is the book that really explained PTSD to me for the first time in detail. Before I came across it, about eleven years ago now, I had no idea that all my problems were linked to trauma - and "natural" reactions. He writes clearly as if he's knows first hand. I'd been alone battling F/F/F for over fifteen years by then, and life was nightmarish.

Ooh, that mind, body, spirit realisation feeling rings a bell  :hug:

Have you been prescribed Ignatia homeopathic remedy for anxiety? Just wondered, as it works for me, has become something of a 'saviour' in tough times. The hot water bottle and teddy sound good. I've actually got two teds which is extra reassuring :) Whatever works to sooth, let stuff flow...meditation, journalling, colouring. I recently came across some lovely music for relaxing and sleep on Youtube which helps bring down stress levels. Some incense can help make me feel more grounded - the earthy, woody ones especially. Just an idea.

Your T's method is new to me. There are so many new systems out there. Hopefully, she will be able to help you release some of the energy your body is holding from the trauma.
I feel very fortunate to have worked with a lovely lady whose work has dramatically reduced my dissociating and frequency of panic attacks - and one of her methods was releasing trapped emotions in the body. In just under a year, I feel more present in my body and more connected to myself than I have in many years. Although I still have a way to go, fatigue issues and headaches to contend with.

Hope you feel less alone here on OOTS. I have certainly found it to be a very friendly and reassuring place.

Fen x









Butterfly66

Thank you all for your messages of welcome   :hug: :hug:

Fen, I also listen to a meditation on you tube called in the arms of safety by Jason Stephenson, it is so beautiful and helps me drift off to sleep with Teddy and my blanket. I am so grateful for this music on you tube.   :).  What is the method of therapy that helps to release trapped emotions, I have tried to apply the Emotion code to release trapped emotions in the past, have you heard of the Emotion Code?

Blessings to you all x

Fen Starshimmer

Hi Butterfly,

Thanks for the Youtube meditation tip. Will check it out.  :thumbup:

The modality I've been using with my T to release trapped emotions is indeed the Emotion Code, supplemented with the Body Code, which works at a deeper and more physical level.


Hazy111

Hello Butterfly,  :wave:

Im from UK, i think theres a few members.

As you can see theres no international boundaries to trauma

Best wishes  :hug:

Manchesterford

Butterfly,  Fen,  Hazel - me too!  Good to meet you all. X

Sienna

Hi Butterfly66!
Welcome! I am also from the UK.

I reckon that if Pete Walkers information resonates with you, it may be that you do have Cptsd.
I have also heard- from Pete Walker himself...that people with anxiety or depression, or whatever it may be...he thinks it is really Cptsd, caused from trauma.

Im thinking , that maybe your depression also, was an emotional flashback...as i know that numbness can be a trauma response..and triggers can set off the numbness or depression...only you might not know that youve been triggered or what triggers you at first.

QuoteI have been off meds for years and taken the alternative route but nothing seemed to help.  A few months ago I started doing some mindfulness meditations and soon began to realise that whatever I do I become obsessive about it, I was with myself for hours and hours not wanting to come out of the semi consciousness and relief from daily life these meditations brought.
Its really great that you have been trying things to try to help you.
It makes sense to me that you didnt want to come out of the medications..as you said, it was relief from daily life. Did you know that meditations can be a form of dissociation for some?
But a good realisation to have, about the fact that you become obsessive about things.

How interesting ... about the physical numbness. As a freeze type, I'm wondering if i am..*numb* only just don't know it..as ive never known any different from what i know. Would like to do somatic work..as mind and body are connected..and i don't know if i can properly heal if i don't do both.

Not familiar with Pete Levines work. Cant even spell his name...but i may look him up.

Peggy-Sue

hey i'm British and pretty new to all this forum stuff and only recently got CPTSD diagnosis
its good to have an international forum to share resources , knowledge and messages of hope /support
your experience with your T sounds very empowering not heard of pete Levine but will look it up, thanks
take care
TTFN

Boatsetsailrose

Hello butterfly
Yes I am from the uk and not diagnosed ...
your experience sounds very much like mine
I'm reading a book 'the body keeps the score ' Bessel van der kolk
I have more of a relationship with ssri as I get older ...
I am not in therapy at the mo, 'may I ask what type of therapist yours is please ?

Placebo

I am also from the UK. Currently in therapy. I also have bipolar so my mood can really be all over! I am also new, this is my first post.

Three Roses

Hello and welcome, Placebo! Thanks for joining.  :)

prairiewind

Welcome butterfly66. Not from the UK but have visited there. I remember the marmite, and yummy lemon curd. Sounds like you have a therapist you feel safe with. Hope you can feel safe here too.