A twist on how to regard symptoms?

[woodsgnome]

Recently I was watching a youtube interview with writer Ted Zeff, noted author on highly sensitive people, and he countered a question with a suggestion I liked...he said words to the effect of: ..."maybe it's easier to think of what's usually called symptoms as characteristics instead"...

I know it's just words, but they can impact how we (or at least it works that way for me) react to things. Personally, the term 'symptoms' tends to bring on sadness, and a feeling of shame and discouragement about my life; along the lines of 'I'm dis-ordered, not normal, needy, out of whack and I'll never fit in (although I'm not at all sure I really want to fit into some grand norm anyway).

For me, it helps to at least start by feeling less defective. That little twist in words, from thinking of something as a dire-sounding symptom to consider it just as a descriptive characteristic, makes me feel less down, maybe even more aware in a way. It reminds me of looking through a prism, then twisting it and sure enough, the viewpoint changes.

Probably sounds silly to some (said by a highly sensitive person), but I like the view better when I can regard the symptoms as just characters (characteristics) wearing a scarier costume. The ability to change one's outfit is the important point. Changing the viewpoint makes the situation more fluid, and I suddenly feel a part of my own recovery, not just subject to permanent symptoms as defined in the bible (DSM-5 or whatever it's called) that tells me who I am or am supposed to be.

This isn't as anti-establishment as it sounds, though--I still regard the symptoms definitions as essential, but more as only starting points, not a life sentence that dooms me. I've come to regard them as pointers on the map of recovery, but not as the end points themselves. As I move past them, I can use the symptoms more as signs to better possibilities than as fateful stuck patterns that leave me living in categories defined exclusively by experts.

Funny how changing one word, even just internally--or at least how I think about it--leaves me feeling better as I struggle down the path. I just don't like (does anyone?) wearing the scarlet tag of victim/disordered person forever. 

[sanmagic7]

words do have power.  i don't like the word invalid because it reminds me of someone who is in-valid, as in not valid.  which i don't believe at all. 

because of my work as a therapist, and my perspective, i never, personally, saw the word 'symptoms' as the be-all definition of someone. only, as you mentioned, a map or guideline of what to go after, what to rectify, or what to attack and resolve.  but, characteristics works, too.  i do think it's important for us to find what works for us and stay with it, own it until it doesn't serve us anymore.  then, we can do away with it.

i'm really glad you found something that suits you and that makes all this easier for you to work with.  yay!!!

[woodsgnome]

This is a bit of a clarification that I glossed over in describing here (and elsewhere) how words affect me, perhaps more than it would others; although I surmise many here can relate.

Simply put, from early on I was stung by how words were used, amidst all the other traumatic abuses, to add to the humiliation and shame. All in the name of 'authorities'--paternal, maternal, educational, and religious.

As a kid, I of course didn't understand (still don't, actually), but all I wanted was to run, scream, and shut myself away from it all. I wanted lock the door and cry and rage and rant and kick the walls; although I did manage to do that for real once, too--pounded my fists into, and dislodged, large chunks of plaster. It felt good despite my bruised hands and the reprisals from authority, starting with the too familiar words "bad...sinful...god will punish you... " and such.

So yes, my take on words is highly reactionary. I became hyper-vigilant about everything, and that includes the possibility that words could be used as a part of the overall abuse. I also became highly suspicious of the words from any and all after those episodes.

Sometimes swapping words, even if only in my own mind, is just an internal form of self-soothing. And/or justified rebellion, too--I wanted desperately to find my own way, and that includes how words are used.

Interesting--as I re-read what I've written here, I notice a huge hint of defensiveness; ah yes, yet another symptom/characteristic dredged out of the heap of abusive aftereffects.