Peter Walker On Freeze

[Badmemories]

I shorten this by copy and pasting this so the information is easier to understand.I then divided it into each response.

http://www.pete-walker.com/fourFs_TraumaTypologyComplexPTSD.htm

This model elaborates four basic defensive structures that develop out of our instinctive Fight, Flight, Freeze and Fawn responses to severe abandonment and trauma. Variances in the childhood abuse/neglect pattern, birth order, and genetic predispositions result in individuals "choosing" and specializing in narcissistic
(fight), obsessive/compulsive (flight), dissociative (freeze) or codependent (fawn) defenses.

Habituated 4F defenses offer protection against further re-abandonment hurts by precluding the type of vulnerable relating that is prone to re-invoke childhood feelings of being attacked, unseen, and unappreciated.

FREEZE TYPE

DEFINED
freeze types hide away in their rooms and reveries;

Many freeze types unconsciously believe that people and danger are synonymous, and that safety lies in solitude. Outside of fantasy, many give up entirely on the possibility of love. The freeze response, also known as the camouflage response, often triggers the individual into hiding, isolating and eschewing human contact as much as possible. This type can be so frozen in retreat mode that it seems as if their starter button is stuck in the "off" position. It is usually the most profoundly abandoned child - "the lost child" - who is forced to "choose" and habituate to the freeze response (the most primitive of the 4Fs).

ACTIONS
Unable to successfully employ fight, flight or fawn responses, the freeze type's defenses develop around classical dissociation, which allows him to disconnect from experiencing his abandonment pain, and protects him from risky social interactions -
any of which might trigger feelings of being reabandoned. Freeze types often present as ADD; they seek refuge and comfort in prolonged bouts of sleep, daydreaming, wishing and right brain-dominant activities like TV, computer and video games.
They master the art of changing the internal channel whenever inner experience becomes uncomfortable. When they are especially traumatized or triggered, they may exhibit a schizoid-like detachment from ordinary reality.

TREATMENT

There are at least three reasons why freeze types are the most difficult 4F defense to treat. First, their positive relational experiences are few if any, and they are therefore extremely reluctant to enter the relationship of therapy; moreover, those who manage to overcome this reluctance often spook easily and quickly terminate. Second, they are harder to psychoeducate about the trauma basis of their complaints because, like many fight types, they are unconscious of their fear and their torturous
inner critic. Also, like the fight type, the freeze type tends to project the perfectionistic demands of the critic onto others rather than the self, and uses the imperfections of others as justification for isolation. The critic's processes of perfectionism and endangerment, extremely unconscious in freeze types, must be made conscious and deconstructed as described in detail in my aforementioned article on shrinking the inner critic. Third, even more than workaholic flight types, freeze types are in denial about the life narrowing consequences of their singular adaptation. Because the freeze response is on a continuum that ends with the
collapse response (the extreme abandonment of consciousness seen in prey animals about to be killed),

OTHER INFORMATION
Although there is really not a treatment specified in this section I added it here.
The opioid production of the collapse or extreme freeze response can only take the
individual so far however, and these types are therefore prone to sedating substance
addictions. Many self-medicating types are often drawn to marijuana and narcotics,
while others may gravitate toward ever escalating regimes of anti-depressants and
anxiolytics. Moreover, when they are especially unremediated and unattached, they
can devolve into increasing depression and, in worst case scenarios, into the kind of
mental illness described in the book, I Never Promised You A Rose Garden.

[Annegirl]

Thank you for posting these up Badmemories, I read all of them, I think I can relate most to this one and fawn.
They are interesting

[emotion overload]

Pete was the one that got me into T.  I found him the week I came OOTF.  I read his definition of freeze and started wondering if he had been watching me.  It was dead on, 100% accurate as to how I had been living for the better part of 3 years.  Frankly, I was frightened after I read about freeze in his 4 F's article on the website. 

I printed that description out and took it to my T. 

I was fawn and flight when younger.  But the trauma I went thru over the past 6 years just shut me down I think.  I still have issues with freezing.  Even when my dd(7) yells at me, I freeze.  I never realized that I did that until Pete's description.  Sometimes I am more present and don't want to be, and try desperately to go back into the freeze.  As my name suggests, when I came out of freeze I got emotion overload.  I still have that today, 8 months later, and sometimes I like the days when I wake up numb and binge watch netflix all day.

Pete is like a savior to me, I can't even express the gratitude I have towards him.  I emailed him once and he emailed me back.  I will keep that email forever. 

[Badmemories]

I am definitely the freeze type, So many of the definitions speak to me. actually IMO the freeze type is like Depression. I am just froze. Honestly I sat in my bedroom from March until end of June, then got worse again the last of July until I started reading out of the fog again. Still lost a lot of August also.

I had starting taking my cymbalta, and I get diarrhea so bad from it the first 3 weeks or so then NPDH was complaining about how I was not getting any of the chores done that I needed to get done. So I went off of them. they had just started working  (It takes about a month to get full benefit from them.)

The diarrea is the worst side effect, however they really do work for me and also help with Arthritis pain. So that is a bonus for me. The diarrhea goes away after a 2-4 weeks.  Now for some reason I did not get that filled even though I ordered it.. don't know why but it is so expensive that I think that MY Psyc. has to send in a special request for it.

[globetrotter]

Fellow freezer, here.

My T and I have been talking about this the last few weeks. It seems to come to a head when discussing negative experiences or emotions from the trauma. We're working on me feeling my emotions for 6 nanoseconds instead of 2 nanoseconds before I shut down...this is a behavior I've practiced for decades. This is going to be a challenge!

[Badmemories]

I sure know what you mean by challenge! I am feeling snowed under right now.  Instead of My usual response of burying it I am going to move forward no matter how difficult it is, and how long it takes. 

[Kizzie]

Fellow freezer here too (now I'm singing FreezeFrame in my head - it will take forever to get rid of this ear worm lol), but I totally agree - onward!  Any small success is good.

Tks BadMemories for getting this thread and the other defense reaction threads going 

[Annegirl]

Globetrotter it sounds like you have a good therapist there 

[keepfighting]

Another fawn-freezer here!

This is actually where I paused in the Walker book when I read it this summer. Major triggers...

Now, re-reading the therapy section on freeze, I understand why therapy only got me up to a certain point:

It dealt mostly with my fawn tendencies, they are less intense and less painful to deal with for me.

Right now, I am kinda stuck in freeze over a situation - soon as I find the nerve to do so I will post a seperate thread about it.

Anyway, this is a good thread - even though it's painful for me. Helps to know there's a lot of us here ready to offer support.

[globetrotter]

I appreciate the persistence and resilience I'm reading here, with commitments to move forward and push on. That's really what we need to do; to not give up on our selves, regardless of how frustrating it gets at times.

When I was in my 20s, I was pretty full of self-loathing and low self esteem. I grew past that with counseling. In Walker's book, I was enlightened by the "outer critic" statements in the FREEZE description. It's a defense that I never recognized before, and seeing it was an 'aha' moment for me - yet another way to keep people away. I had already realized that I was sometimes too unforgiving and critical and that I need to practice more flexibility and understanding; now I know why I am sometimes too harsh. Hopefully, this knowledge will continue to help to propel me forward to open the door to vulnerability a bit more.

[pam]

I am reading Walker's book, but haven't gotten to these in detail yet. So when I read this yesterday, I skipped over this one, thought, "that's not me." Well, today I read it and yes it is. People are dangerous! And I am not very forgiving.

I remember specifically being 7 or 8 and seeing my teenaged friend who was a neighbor of my grandmother's who I'd see in the summer. We were playing in the grass, frisbee or ball, and she accidentally hit me in the head or face, pretty hard--I feel down from it. I ran to my grandmother's house crying. She ran after me saying she was sorry and let me see, etc. Everyone gathered and tried to tell me she didn't mean it and I'll be ok. But I wouldn't go back out there, not that day, or the rest of the vacation. The next summer everyone thought maybe I'd forgotten, but I didn't. And even tho by then even I knew it was really an accident, I couldn't forgive or talk to her. Every year after (until she moved away to college) I would ignore her. (I'm so evil). I think deep down I also felt like a fool that I didn't talk to her, and with so much time going by, it became so uncomfortable--how to just start talking again? So I kind of chose the persona of "unforgiving mean person" rather than be vulnerable in any way.

I still don't like being vulnerable--as far as I can tell, it's just something a person does right before getting stabbed in the back.  >

I do agree with a lot of this being unconscious (and therefore hard to treat). This doesn't fit my self-view. I always thought i was nice and accommodating, etc. Not judgmental and unforgiving. I think I've been treatment resistant because I needed a different approach.

I'm looking forward to seeing what Walker means by "shrinking the critic." I myself think making friends with the critic is what needs to happen. If I or others are the enemy of my critic, he will spend all the time defending himself, and me, and not healing himself or letting me be healed. Life will be nothing but a fight. Sorry if none of this makes sense.

[emotion overload]

When I was in my 20s, I was pretty full of self-loathing and low self esteem. I grew past that with counseling. In Walker's book, I was enlightened by the "outer critic" statements in the FREEZE description. It's a defense that I never recognized before, and seeing it was an 'aha' moment for me - yet another way to keep people away. I had already realized that I was sometimes too unforgiving and critical and that I need to practice more flexibility and understanding; now I know why I am sometimes too harsh. Hopefully, this knowledge will continue to help to propel me forward to open the door to vulnerability a bit more.

I haven't managed to be as successful in getting rid of my self-loathing yet.  Glad to hear you have - it gives me hope that it is possible.

I totally agree that the outer critic part was an aha moment.  For a fawn/freeze, I can be incredibly critical of people.  Just not to their face.  I have realized since reading Walker just how much I do this.  I don't consider this a positive quality of mine, and I'd like to shrink the outer critic.  I did feel a little better after reading this though, realizing that it is sometimes a protective measure to keep people away.  It's not just that I am a bitter, critical b*tch.

[globetrotter]

Pam: what you're saying makes perfect sense...and rings familiar. An insightful moment on how something painful can impact us for so long. Multiply that times and here we are.

I'm with you, E.O. I'm hoping I can catch myself and say "you're doing it again" now that I know what is.
Tough habit to break. No, never to anyone's face. - just stinkin' thinkin' as Jack Handy used to say.

[emotion overload]

I'm with you, E.O. I'm hoping I can catch myself and say "you're doing it again" now that I know what is.
Tough habit to break. No, never to anyone's face. - just stinkin' thinkin' as Jack Handy used to say.

The other troubling part is that much of my humor is based on making fun of others.  I blame growing up in the age of seinfeld, but I sure use my sarcastic, critical skills to make humor at other's expense.  Usually just people on TV, because I don't get out much, but that's bad enough...

[Badmemories]

Critic.. that is me.. I have to really work on that one... when I babysit I am always trying to give my GC affirmations. like that feels good doesn't it, or You did a great Job, or Thank You for thinking of doing that for me, it was very considerate of you. You did such a great job of cleaning out your room. etc. But HOW MANY of US do those affirmations for ourselves?

I don't! I see problems that MY daughter has and before in her life I'd probably criticize her.... really doesn't work. So now I try and praise her more also!  When I do have something I see I want to express to her. I try and express it have you ever tried this? or some non threatening kind of way.. I think She receives it better.

I am also trying to tell myself things like I tell the grandchildren. instead of telling myself " You didn't get a da#n thing done today. Now I try and think about what I did get done. I think we hear these tapes going over and over in our heads from our abused childhood, and yet most of them were not true. We accept them like it is G-ds truth because the parents or other elders always told us those hateful harmful to the emotions thing!