Lyrics/songs that help

[JusticeBeaver]

I love music, lots of different genres and artists. There are quite a few artists who write songs that I connect with emotionally, Elliott Smith (Pretty, Ugly Before), Wilco (Please Be Patient With Me),  Jenny Lewis (A Better Son/Daughter - which to me is about an emotionally abused daughter who blames herself), and the song "Please Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood" - I like the Joe Cocker version, but there have been several covers. Another one is "Same Mistakes" by the Echo Friendly.

There has been debate about Fiona Apple, whether she has BPD or possibly CPTSD, but she beautifully writes from the perspective of someone with a trauma background. She has a few songs that I think are from the perspective of someone with CPTSD trying to explain how they feel to others, "Extraordinary Machine," is a good one. There is one song in particular that resonates with me, "Every Single Night."

Every single night
I endure the flight
Of little wings of white flame
Butterflies in my brain
These ideas of mine
Percolate the mind
Trickle down the spine
Swarm the belly, swelling to a blaze

That's where the pain comes in
Like a second skeleton
Trying to fit beneath the skin
I cant fit the feelings in

Every single nights a light
With my brain

What'd I say to her
Why'd I say it to her
What does she think of me
That I'm not what I ought to be
That I'm what I try not to be
It's got to be somebody else's fault
I can't get caught

If what I am, is what I am
Cause I does what I does
Then brother get back cause my breast gonna bust open
The rib is the shell and the heart is the yolk
And I just made a meal for us both to choke on

Every single nights a fight
With my brain

I just wanna feel everything x3

So I'm gonna try to be still now
Gonna renounce the mill a little while
And if we had a double king size bed
We could move in it and I'd soon forget

That what I am, is what I am
Cause does what I does
And maybe I'd relax let my breast just bust open
My hearts made of parts of all that surrounds me
And that's why the devil just can't get around me

Every single nights alright
Every single nights a fight
And every single fights alright
With my brain

I just wanna feel everything x3

Anyone else have a song or songs, or even just a particular artist that really encapsulates how they feel?

[Three Roses]

music has always been really important to me. there are so many songs that have helped me over the years; they're like good friends who you know you can count on - always there for you, always saying exactly the right thing that you need at that moment. just depends on what mood i'm in and what need i'm feeling. recently, i've been working on feeling the anger that i know i have built up inside. so, it's "leathers" by the deftones. not a pretty song, but it gets me feeling the way i know i need to.

"Leathers"

This is your chance
Revolt, resist!
Open your chest
Look down, reach in

Shedding your skin, showing your texture, time to let
Everything inside show
You're cutting all ties now and forever, time to let
Everything outside you

This is your test
Come forth, confess!
Extend your tongue
Speak out, go on

Shedding your skin, showing your texture, time to let
Everything inside show
You're cutting all ties now and forever, time to let
Everything outside you

Shed your casing, show your lines and shapes
Wear your insides
On the outside
Show your enemy
What you look like
What you look like
From the inside
From the inside

You're cutting all ties now and forever, time to LET!

Shedding your skin, showing your texture, time to let
Everything inside show
You're cutting all ties now and forever, time to let
Everything outside you

Shed your casing, show your lines and shapes
Wear your insides
On the outside
Show your enemy
What you look like
What you look like
From the inside
From the inside

(if you don't like metal, you won't like that song)

[abcdefghijohnnyz]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g6kBZNToS5Y

I love this song by Poe, "Control." Actually the entire album its on, "Haunted," is amazing for trauma feels. Lyrics below.

Don't you mess with a little girl's dream
'Cause she's liable to grow up mean

Surprised you to find that I'm laughing?
You thought that you'd find me in tears
You thought I'd be crawling the walls
Like a tiny mosquito and trembling in fear

Well you may be king for the moment
But I am a queen understand
And I've got your pawns and your bishops
And castles
All inside the palm of my hand

While you were looking the other way
While you had your eyes closed
While you were licking your lips
'Cause I was miserable
While you were selling your soul
While you were tearing a hole in me

I was taking control

Now I have taken control
Now I have taken control...

This is beginning to feel good
Watching you squirm in your shoes
A small bead of sweat on your brow
And a growl in your belly your scared to let through

You thought you could keep me from loving
You thought you could feed on my soul
But while you were busy destroying my life
What was half in me has become whole

While you were looking the other way
While you had your eyes closed
While you were licking your lips
'Cause I was miserable
While you were selling your soul
While you were tearing a hole in me

I was taking control

Now I have taken control
Now I have taken control...

So this is how it feels
To breath in the summer air
The feel the sand between my toes
And love inside my ear
All those things that you taught me to fear
I've got them in my garden now
And your not welcome here

Come a little bit closer
Let me look at you
I gave you the benefit
Of the doubt it's true
But keep in mind my darling
Not every saint is a fool

While you were looking the other way
While you had your eyes closed
While you were licking your lips
'Cause I was miserable
While you were selling your soul
While you were tearing a hole in me

I was taking control

Now I have taken control
Now I have taken control...

Don't you mess with me

Father: there has to be more to life than this, because in our
confrontation with a cold cold universe, there is something comical
to the idea that we can really impose our will on humanity-- power corrupts!

Daughter :
This is scaring me

Father and daughter 2:

Daughter : ...I live at the end of a 5 and 1/2 minute hallway

Father:
And at the end of it all lies of course the final
phenomenon of deterioration entropy, which is a predictable
disintegrations which the creative life ceases: everything has to fall apart.

Daughter:
Why are you always so serious?!

[89abc123]

There's a verse in a hilltop hoods song live and let go that I feel describes recovery from narcissistic abuse perfectly (I don't know what the song is actually about)...

I pay homage to obstacles,
thin line between honour and horrible,
the healing heart knows that eyes must overflow,
tears clear the windows that guard the soul,
now let the water flow,
you can scrub the mud out of the land the blood out of your hands,
but you've still got to cleanse the heart that's trying to beat inside,
and it's only purified by the tears you cry.

You can fight all the devils and slay them,
but if you're made hard at the days end then they win,
there's only one force that can solve all this,
I want the warm heart that we all start with,
sometimes we march out, ball our fists,
I will give it all up for my softness,
you will never invade my holy place,
I let the tears dry on my face.

Genius.

[bring em all in]

T-Bone Burnett – Shut It Tight Lyrics

I find it hard sometimes to say the way that I feel
I do the very things I hate to do
I act like a child and I'm afraid of what is real
And so I try to cover up the truth
I stumble like a drunk along this crazy path I walk
I have a hundred thousand questions too
I'll go to any length to prove that nothing is my fault
Then later on I will deny the proof
I don't like to win but then again I hate to lose
And in between is something I can't stand
I don't care what you think and I hope that you approve
I am just an ordinary man
Sometimes I want to stop and crawl back into the womb
And sometimes I cannot tell wrong from right
But I ain't gonna quit until I'm laid in my tomb
And even then they better shut it tight

[SM]

This one rings true for me.

Life Less Frightening
Rise Against


Suffering from something we're not sure of
In a world there is no cure for
These lives we live test negative for happiness
Flat line, no pulse, but eyes open
Single file like soldiers on a mission
If there's no war outside our heads
Why are we losing?

I don't ask for much
Truth be told I'd settle
For a life less frightening, a life less frightening

I don't ask for much
Truth be told I'd settle
For a life less frightening, a life less frightening

Hang me out to dry I'm soaking
With the sense of knowing
What's gone wrong but doing nothing I still run
Time again I have found myself stuttering
Foundations pulled out from under me
This breath is wasted on them all
Will someone answer me


I don't ask for much
Truth be told I'd settle
For a life less frightening, a life less frightening

Is there a God tonight?
Up in the sky or is it empty just like me (Just like me)
A place where we can hide out from the night
Where you are all I need (Where you are all I need)
So all he says, goodbye, and close your eyes
Tell me what you say (Tell me what you say)
A life I sit inside this dream of mine
Where you are all I see

I don't ask for much
Truth be told I'd settle
For a life less frightening, a life less frightening

[abcdefghijohnnyz]

Here's another one.

Le Tigre- Tell You Now

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ikjDgrSj1B0

I'll just tell you now
'cause I don't think you know
The things you tried to kill
I found a way to grow

I'll just tell you now
You may have made your mark
But I'm still here today
Knowing who you are

I'll just tell you now
I'll just tell you now
(Don't want to disappoint you)
You're not the City of God
(Or be one to annoy)
You can't strike me down
(But it won't go away now)
From your mountain top
(And here's the reasons why)
I'll just tell you now
(You took my intuition)
You're not the City of God
(My knowledge of the truth)
You can't shoot me down
(The love I had in this world)
From your mountain top
(I gave it all to you)
I'll just tell you now
I want to tell you now...

I'll just tell you now
'cause I don't think you know
The things you tried to kill
I found a way to grow

I'll just tell you now
(You took my intuition)
You're not the City of God
(My knowledge of the truth)
You can't shoot me down
(The love I had in this world)
From your mountain top
(I gave it all to you)

I want to tell you now...

Say this one packs a fight
Just crazy, out of my mind
Say sorry, yeah it's all right
Just give me back what you took that night
I want to tell you now
I say it full out
I want to get up in your face
And tear your thoughts right out
I want to tell you, tell you now
I'm gunna tell you, tell you how
You didn't change my mind
You didn't do a thing
'Cept made me hate myself
And made me fear everything
You thought I'd run and hide
And keep it all inside
How can you see me
And think it's all right?

I want to tell you now...

[Absent]

it's funny. I haven't been listening to as much music as before, but it has been, at moments, my salvation. I listen to various genres so not sure how much this will be appreciated but I found in the past Hatebreed's "Supremacy" album to be something that would help me channel my aggression (Rise of brutality is also good). Honestly it will be difficult to pick up a single song, so here are few examples:

To The Threshold
This is the sound of the lost, beaten and broken,
Rising up and claiming what was been taken from us
From the shadows of the past
From the depths of our own failures
Stepping forward into the light
Denying our demise
Decimating all uncertainty
Bowing to only who can place judgment upon me

Give me your broken
Give me your beaten
I will build them up
I will lead them
To the threshold
Make you stronger
Make you believe
I am one in the same
But now stronger then uncertainty
Within this army
This is more than a battle cry
It's the blood of our lifeline
Flowing faster


Mind Over All
When I was at my weakest
And I had given in
Some had counted me out
Some rejoiced in my failures
The few that believed
Gave me power and life
Gave me strength with their trust
Surrounding me with light

[moonlightnanana]

A song that helps me include "Honesty" by Billy Joel. Honestly, it just reminds me to be more honest about myself, what I'm feeling, happy - sad - everything in between. I feel like I'm the type of person who has always hidden how I feel from others, unless it's something acceptable, like a smile or polite nod.   

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SuFScoO4tb0

It kind of also reminds me that a lot of us are dealing with various issues. And a lot of times we can't face each other as we really are because of the pain we try to hide. This collective pain that we all share in some form, feels like it's unfolding when I listen to this song.

[goth_mike]

I was thinking about inspiring songs for survivors just now, and thought there would already be a topic!

My contribution is a new song by an Australian band called Tonight Alive.  Whenever this tune plays on the radio, it makes me feel inspired and strong.  As something of a "recovery beginner", the lyrics really speaks to my inner child, and describe my (good days) attitude perfectly.

Not sure if it's actually about CPTSD, but sounds like it is to me!

Tonight Alive - World Away

[Verse 1]
A part of me always believed
I must have brought this on myself
'Cause I'm not where I want to be
And every time I want to change my life
It just feels like trying to turn water into wine

[Chorus]
It doesn't have to be a world away
I can hear the song like it's inside of me
I know that if I get to know my pain
I unlock a hundred different doors to better days

[Verse 2]
Though I take hit after hit
I realise the higher reason is accepting challenges as gifts
And through the fight
I never really knew that I would find myself
That's why I give my thanks to you

[Chorus]
It doesn't have to be a world away
I can hear the song like it's inside of me
I know that if I get to know my pain
I unlock a hundred different doors to better days

[Bridge]
My life is what I make it
I choose to rise and take it from your hands
My life is what I make it
I choose to rise and take it from your hands
This is not my punishment
This is my catalyst for growth
I know I will survive this
I'll be the strongest person I know

[Chorus]
It doesn't have to be a world away
I can see the light like it's inside of me
I know that if I get to know my pain
I unlock a hundred different doors to better days

[Outro]
My life is what I make it
I choose to rise and take it from your hands
My life is what I make it
I choose to rise and take it from your hands
This is not my punishment
This is my catalyst for growth
I know I will survive this
I'll be the strongest person I know

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W0C_HdIyOqc

I share it with the hope that others can take the same comfort from this beautiful song.

Another which springs to mind is The Hand You Hold, by Louise Distras.  I won't put the lyrics here as the first verse is potentially triggering (messed me right up the first time I heard it) but suffice to say the chorus is based around the line "never let the hand you hold hold you down".  This has particular poignance because "hand" is sung to sound like "hurt".

I'm interested in suggestions by others - finding new music is always good!

[BlancaLap]

Just some quick songs:
Fight song - Rachel Platten
I am the fire - Halestorm
Big girls cry - Sia
How do you love someone - Ashley Tisdale
It's over when it's over - Falling in reverse
Catch fire - Jenix
Alive - Sia
We are the brave - Veridia
My demons - Starset
Fighter - Crhistina Aguilera
Hope of morning - Icon for hire
Survivor - Desnity's child
On my own - Ashes remain

[goth_mike]

I've thought of another one.  This must be the only Drive By Truckers song which is sort of uplifting...

"Daylight"

She's got me tied in a knot. That's what I thought she'd do.
Don't ask me what's on my mind. I'm fine. I'll push on through.
Not much to see on this angry street, so I'll sleep the day away.
Look past my barnacled mind and in time I'll roll the stone away.

While we still have the daylight, I might look these lessons in the eye.
While we still have the daylight, I might become some brand-new kinda guy.

Brass knuckles and birds on a wire retire but no one gets free.
I'd pay to tear these chains away, this steel sympathy.
Cut bait and cold black forty weight, no one can sing for me.
They fall down with grease in their eyes and cry. How could this come to be?

While we still have the daylight, I might look these lessons in the eye.
While we still have the daylight, I might become some brand-new kinda guy.