finding a job that I can do

[zoekaftan]

Hi everyone, I'm new here and this is my first post. I am curious what type of work people recommend for someone with C PTSD, or maybe recommendations on how to sort out what your limitations are.

I quit my job in September to go to school part time, and I started a job at Starbucks but only lasted 3 days. I got so overwhelmed, it was all I could do to quit with a professional statement to the manager.

Since then, a couple weeks ago, I interviewed for a job where I would have picked out groceries that people ordered online so they could come pick them up, but because I'm an idiot and mentioned that job, I think that's mostly why they said nevermind.

I just don't feel like I know what would work for me. I hate being alone and bored, but I also can't deal with high pressure, fast paced jobs either. My resume for the last 10 years is all tech support, which I hate, and before that I did fast food and some assembly plants. Mostly I know customer service, and that's about it.  I've never worked retail before.

I appreciate any advice. I have a good therapist but she's not really great at ideas for this.

[Three Roses]

Hello and welcome, zoekaftan! I'm glad you're here.

As far as suggestions for jobs for you - I'm stumped.  I guess it boils down to what you can do, and that's so different for each of us.

What are your interests? Is there something you've always wanted to try?

Maybe others will have some better ideas. Anyway, thanks for joining.

[Eyessoblue]

Hi, welcome! I have had to give up my job a few months ago because I have found that trauma has really affected my memory and decision making. Are you in a position where you have to work? Fortunately for me I don't have to work but am spending all my time in trying to get myself better in the way of therapy, self help such as meditation, journaling etc, I don't believe I will be able to hold down a job until I have psychologically sorted myself out. I feel frustrated and like I have no purpose, but I know I need time for 'me' now, I go to the gym and swimming a few times a week which is a struggle but I make myself go because I know long term it will make me feel better. I couldn't imagine working at the moment and try not to put too much pressure on myself to do so, but like I say I don't know your situation and am in a fortunate position where I don't need to work, in my situation I really know that I need long term professional psychological work before I could even consider working, my brain just couldn't handle it at the moment.

[zoekaftan]

Hi there, thanks for responding. I know, it's hard because everyone with CPTSD has different abilities and triggers.

I should work, because I'm not married, my boyfriend and I live together but our finances are separate. He pays for things sometimes, but even though he makes good money, he's gotten into a bunch of debt recently helping his family, so I really feel pressured to not add to that problem right now. Plus, I don't feel comfortable living off of him. I've been using a credit card lately, because frankly, I'm planning on filing for bankruptcy anyways since I've had a lot of debt for a long time anyhow, and it's definitely not going away now that I'm not working in IT anymore.

My symptoms have gotten worse over time, although they got a little better than before in some ways, This time last year I was still having anxiety attacks every few weeks that would keep me from sleeping. I don't have those anymore (well, for a while anyways, we'll see) but let me think, what do I have..

I have a very short attention span lately. I have been taking a lot of naps when I just can't bear to be conscious anymore. I can't really use drugs because feeling too relaxed tends to trigger panic. I had a little bit of alcohol a few days ago and that didn't go well. When I get stressed, which is often, my arms get so itchy that they bleed from the scratching. I've been doing this in my sleep some, and it tends to wake me up. I've been really depressed off and on lately, usually been in a "* life" mood, wondering why I even bother. Therapy isn't helping lately because I've hit a bump with my therapist, namely I now am too scared to bring my feelings to her anymore, for fear of rejection. Despite having done okay the last year.

When I was still working, I was constantly feeling overwhelmed, and so I would dissociate to "relax" which meant I wasn't working.
At the job I had for three days, I was doing okay the first two, before working live customers. Once I did that, the manager's constant instructions caused me to panic and my higher brain function just went offline.  I excused myself to the bathroom and then quit.

That all being said, my ability to learn is usually pretty good until I feel pressure. I am interested in psychology for obvious reasons, and am going to school to get a degree I can use somehow in the field. I like helping people with important things, but the stress is often too much for me nowadays. I love animals, and volunteer at the shelter, but I don't think I could work there because they require you to be able to euthanize an animal if necessary, and I don't think I could do it.
I've been considering doing dog walking, but my energy level isn't great, I have a walker for my own dog part of the time as it is.
I feel like I have great critical thinking skills, and I like to write, but have never attempted to do anything related to writing.

All my skills are either customer service based or technical.

I'm not really sure if I am cut out for working right now. Part of me thinks it's impossible, and another part of me is saying "you're being dramatic, your symptoms aren't that bad."

Bleh.

[Eyessoblue]

I understand what you are saying. It feels like a viscous circle doesn't it, in one sense you feel you have and need to work yet in the other sense you know that mentally you aren't able to, I feel the same. Would you look at changing therapists if you have hit a bump with this one? I know that's hard to do as you put all your trust and understanding into someone then to leave that is like starting all over again and painful too. Just try and put yourself first for some time, if you can, then each day try and do something positive for yourself and try and build this up, my therapist said that I need to be kind to myself and by doing this sort of thing enables me to try and feel more positive about myself. I hope this may work out for you too.

[TheDamagedDiamond]

I have a similar problem, trouble feeling damaged or fragile, but also finding a job at all in my city which has a high unemployment rate. I want a job that means something and makes a difference. So since a master's degree is not an option with my current student debt and lack of financial assistance I plan to take the state teacher's exam. I can only hope  that I don't let my fear of being too damaged to teach young people and be around people get in the way. I don't have much of a support network despite efforts build one so I'm pretty much flying solo and trying do as much as I can on my own.

[Dee]

Are there student jobs available at your school?  Because they feel a student's first priority is school they tend to have less expectations and be less stressful.  They also are not as demanding, not as busy, and on campus which might be a safe place for you.

Additionally, if you are diagnosed you most likely qualify for special consideration/priority placement.  If you are in the US it is called schedule A.

[TheDamagedDiamond]

Are there student jobs available at your school?  Because they feel a student's first priority is school they tend to have less expectations and be less stressful.  They also are not as demanding, not as busy, and on campus which might be a safe place for you.

Additionally, if you are diagnosed you most likely qualify for special consideration/priority placement.  If you are in the US it is called schedule A.

Oh I'm not a student. Just wanted to clarify that I'm not in school. Just having similar issues about where to work.

[Dee]

So sorry, think I am going to take a posting break for a little bit.  I'll still be reading!

[zoekaftan]

I didn't know that about the school jobs. I may look into that after all then. Thanks!

[bring em all in]

I had the same question- I'm on disability retirement and wondering what kind of job I might be able to hold down- just recently realized on the spectrum of recovery I'm closer to inpatient at a mental hospital than taking a job. Oh, well- got to deal with where/how I am and move onwards.

[Boatsetsailrose]

Thank you for this post
I'm in a similar position
I work as a nurse and am off sick at the moment as I can't cope with the stress and complexity of the role
I have been looking around at what I can do and I am at a loss
Need something interesting and forfilling yet not too stressful and complex - something that pays enough to live on though ..
As bring um all in says
Quote ' oh well got to deal with where / how I am and move forwards

[Candid]

on the spectrum of recovery I'm closer to inpatient at a mental hospital than taking a job.

Yeah, me too. And yet I am in a financial pickle, have no home, and need to do something soon.

I'm considering care work in a nursing home for the elderly. It's dirty, disgusting, heartbreaking and grossly underpaid, but those things mean they are always looking for staff. Now trying to psych myself up to apply.

I have been looking around at what I can do and I am at a loss

It's hard, isn't it? I'm another one who hasn't worked for a few years and therefore I have no recent references. Also, a dichotomy: Frankly I don't feel up to working at all, but I've always had a problem with unstructured time. I need to be doing something other than playing games on line all day!

[Boatsetsailrose]

Yes candid I agree too much unstructured time alone is not good either ..
Do u mind me asking how you have survived re no income from a job ?
I had a bad nite last night and an ambulance came out
Collapsed on the floor , short of breath and dizzy/ chest pain - all obs were fine they think it's anxiety/ hypo tension
Def can't work at the moment and trying hard not to worry about it

[Three Roses]

I'm so sorry to hear that! That must have been scary for you.

My husband and I are on disability due to his on-the-job injuries. He's physically unable to work and I am considering applying for mine, bcuz of cptsd. I hope you find some answers