Is anyone ALL 4 - Fight/Flight/Freeze and Fawn? It appears I am....

[deptofhearts]

Hi out there! So with much sadness and confusion it appears as though I am ALL of the 4 F's - Fight, Flight, Freeze and Fawn. Different triggers bring on different, albeit harrowing EF's and I get stuck in all responses. I have been taking stock, becoming mindful for the first time with diligence and spend a huge amount of my week every week in flashbacks. Argh! I'm attending CoDa - 12 step program for CoDependents (which is amazing btw) - but am slowly realizing I have much more to wade through and feel like an oddity. Pete Walker says you may oscillate between 2 responses as your go-to - or even a hybrid of 2.... but doesn't mention having problems with all of them.  Does anyone else have this conundrum? This really sucks. All C-PTSD symptoms suck. Repeated and varied trauma all through my childhood has seemingly tipped my brain upside down. Still, life is a beautiful thing. Thankful for this community! X

[Three Roses]

Yes, I haven't been able to determine which are my primary responses - seems I have all 4, also -

[deptofhearts]

Yes, I haven't been able to determine which are my primary responses - seems I have all 4, also -

phew - so glad to hear I am not the only one. sad you have that trouble too though. thanks so much.

[Sienna]

Yes same. I read that we all have each of them in us, and will respond (with one of the 4fs) at different times, with different triggers.
I guess its only natural to fight, and to run away if you can (flight), and if we couldnt do those in childhood we are still stuck in fight or flight. Even so, if you could fight or flight, you would still be stuck in it perhaps into adult hood..as the brain gets wired for that and the trauma might not have been dealt with.
Maybe we tried all we could as children. Fawning etc. so i guess we all have experience with all of them...
I think its very complex. We lean response too from whoever abused us, and we can internalise that response. With Dissociative parts too, parts of the abuser we have shut off in our minds can come out of us. ie. with a fight response.

[Biscuits]

Hello

I like the Pete Walker books a lot, but over the years and many, many self help and therapy disciplines later, I feel a lot of doubt when I see "type" lists. I mean for sure, they are all possible responses I might experience at one time or another, so i can sort of recognise that, but I get into all sorts of trouble if I sort of get in the car with it and ride it all the way to Kansas Its easy to get stuck in and endless cycle of "am I this one or this one" and feeling like you cant get better till you nail it down. I had this problem with Schema Therapy, where I would at different times identify with most of the schemas. I also struggled with the "modes" approach, because one of my major symptoms was always an inability to know what I was feeling. That's why I found the mindfulness idea of letting everything be, combined with the approach of "focusing" (allowed me name feelings and states) more helpful than identifying one type.

In the book Pete does suggest putting aside anything he writes that's unhelpful though, so he does recognise that not everything will help everyone. That's another strength of the book IMHO - not getting hung up on it as a system. "No way as way" as some wise folk once said

[Hazy111]

Yes i find i can switch between all four and i was getting bogged down with what am i? I should be more this, less that.

I think C-PTSD manifests itself in many ways and im really coming to terms with my Inner critic , which i believe is much greater than i realised in the terms of guilt and shame. This was brought to the fore in therapy and in my dealing with my job and leaving it recently, my Pd family and just how much guilt and shame associated with this was bringing me down.  The 4fs werent the issue.

Im trying to let these feelings come and then let go and NOT to act on them. Other peoples comments can also act as triggers of my guilt and shame and im slowly becoming aware of this too. I tens to eat my emotions, when angered.

It was also brought home to me by a friend who hasnt worked for 7 years and is quite without guilt and shame about this! He can support himself financially , but still gets snide remarks from friends , family members, etc  (jealous) . His attitude F**K em!! He wont be shamed, whereas im totally shamed and guilted and have to keep coming up with excuses!

[Saule]

Yes, I had a go reading Pete Walker's book, and found that I don't favour any of the 4 types over the other. I see all of them in myself to varying degrees. I must admit I struggled to read the book for some reason, though I'm sure there's lots of helpful information in it.

[Three Roses]

I'll echo that, I also had a hard time reading it, just because of the way it's written. I sometimes had to stop after reading a sentence and put it in my own words, kind of translate it into regular English.