Hello and welcome to the forum, Ladylala! I'm glad you are here.
I'm also happy to hear that you survived such a toxic person! He seems to have the qualities that many here have described in their toxic, narcissistic partners and/or parents.
While no one here is qualified to give you a diagnosis, it does sound as if you are exhibiting symptoms of cptsd. Ultimately I believe you are the best judge of that.

There is a guy who has some wonderful videos on youtube regarding healing from the type of abuse you suffered. His name is Richard Grannon and he also goes by The Spartan Life Coach. That may be a good place for you to start - and I'm sure that others will respond with other suggestions as well.
Thanks for joining us!
