My T

[Hazy111]

Ive been seeing my T for a few months, but now and again i feel like hes not the one for me. Like now.

Last week he said "Im in control" which i pulled him up on, but in a jokey kind of way.

I felt uncomfortable afterwards as i felt like it meant "and youll do as your told"

I mentioned about my sister making contact with me and he thinks its something i should pursue, as my fathers ill in hospital. I hadnt really spoken to her for a few years. She put a kiss at the end of text. But when i started chatting to her i felt her controlling/bullying side come out again . I had mentioned to the T that i wouldnt have Xmas with her, as i feel like its treading on eggshells and he said then dont go. Now hes saying maybe go and try to deal with her differently and realise she has problems/issues.

I asked to go to Xmas with her and she says ok , but she doesnt want any lectures from me, laying down conditions.

I dont know what to do.

Im seeing the T tomorrow and i dont know. Is he understanding of my plight or is he trying to help. Other stuff hes mentioned has been good and i enjoy going but every now and again, i think is this guy right for me? Or am i being too sensitive??

[Three Roses]

We've heard that a lot - "Oh, you're just too sensitive." Really? Is it that, or is it just that they're giant *?

If you're getting the gut feeling that this is not the right therapist for you, I'd go with your gut. The wrong therapist can do even more damage, on top of what's there already. The right therapist may challenge you and call on you to stretch, but you should not leave there feeling worse and you should always feel listened to and respected. Just my opinion.

[mourningdove]

Last week he said "Im in control"

I would probably consider that a red flag, though it's hard to say for sure without any context.

[sanmagic7]

i consider it a red flag - to me, the therapist is supposed to act as a guide, not the be-all and end-all in the relationship.  if you're feeling uncomfortable with him (he's sounding a bit condescending to me), i'm with 3 roses in saying 'go with your gut'.   

[Hazy111]

Thanks everyone for your comments