Hi, I'll answer to Baroque

[baroque]

Here was my Christmas letter to family, before a little solitude:

"Fina, you know I love all of you and spending Christmas alone would suck. I'm thinking of joining other family, for the realness, either popping into the VA 9th floor with all my brothers and sisters strugglling with making sense of all the evil called good: deception and deceit causes our mental illness, as does pervasive abuse and trauma. I'm so sorry to need to stand by my principles. I have financial challenges and expression challenges: my freedoms. I'll happily join you but here are my needs: I need a complete reversal of your policy regarding my staying there to avoid a motel: I'm on my meds, unhelpful as they are, and I started smoking again because of this *. When I stay there, I don't smoke until you are awake. Turn the alarm beeper off if that disturbs Jessup. Another issue is denying me my emotions. If I am sad I will cry, if angered I will express. Nonetheless, I'll maintain civility or leave if there is a problem. I find your emotional constipation unhealthy and not just for me. Perhaps your rages would be better if y'all stopped projecting false happy so superficially all the time. I require my health and that means no false restrictions on my emotional behavior, further I take this stance for your children's health. Express yourselves, kids! Finally is the suppression of my faith, especially on the day celebrating the birth of Christ. I find that completely outrageous and I am in no way welcome under that rule. I believe with my whole heart in Jah and I will not compromise that for your disbelief. It isn't like the kids are not exposed to faith, consider pre-K. I have voluntarily sacrificed my life for Jah and I won't deny him for your prejudicial denial of my reality. You have no idea what I have sacrificed. I have sacrificed my entire unfaithful family, as the bible says my Dad's house is treacherous to myself, with a flimsy cover of fair words. This is completely dishonest and abusive and I reject this situation outright. They can go to *.  It is completely offensive to me and it is on you. Hey, I'd love to see you All, but I will not subject myself to an environment or a superficial relationship that rejects my truth and subjects me to more mental stress. I live in truth and if you welcome me I need natural acceptance. If that is a bridge to far, we'll go our own ways congenially and I will keep all of you in my prayers. Let me know."

Of course, Dog went into attack mode like "I'm free now that I have cut them out. sigh". They pout that they can only use their view and deny me. Considerations get heavy. Hey, I'm not wrong here, why do you make me feel so? Hey, I'm bradley, abuse welcome.

[sanmagic7]

hey, baroque, welcome.

breaking that cycle by standing up for ourselves isn't always the easiest - i've done it, too - but i also believe that it's for the best.    good for you.  keep taking care of you as well as you can.  you deserve that.

[radical]

 

A warm welcome to you, Baroque.

[Three Roses]

Hello and welcome! Thanks for joining. 

[flookadelic]

Only the truth is truly helpful. Might cause people to spin right out, but what do lies ever achieve? Good on your for stating your truth and making that stand.