Anyone relate?

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mvp

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Anyone relate?
« on: January 18, 2017, 04:50:42 AM »
I'm new to this forum, and don't know if I should actually be posting because I haven't received an official C-PTSD diagnosis, so I feel kind of weird about it (and even though I might be wrong, I have this gut feeling like I have Complex PTSD).

Anyways, I guess I'm kind of looking for some kind of anchor here, a shot in the dark to see if anyone relates to what I've been experiencing. All week I've either felt great or like everyone is watching me, or really ashamed of every move I make. I felt shameful and selfish today for telling someone that I thought I did well on a paper and presentation. It just feels like I've felt like this before, but can't pinpoint it. As well, I've been having weird physical sensations (I guess this is the best way I can describe them)--when I get really anxious, I shake, but it's more like my head is vibrating, really quickly, and the same has started happening to my hands. Also, sometimes if I smell something, or if the light looks a certain way outside, I don't get flashbacks but feel as if I'm in the moment of a past situation, while still observing and being in the present. I know I'm in the present, but can't take myself out of that moment, and that's usually where the shaking comes in.

Please tell me if anyone can relate or if I'm just going crazy and imagining things.

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radical

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Re: Anyone relate?
« Reply #1 on: January 18, 2017, 05:06:46 AM »
Welcome, Mvp,
You don't need an official diagnosis.  None of us has an 'official' one because complex cPTSD hasn't been accepted as an official diagnosis yet.  but a lot of experts have written about it.  if you want some good information, I recommend you visit Pete Walker's website.  I don't have a link, but googling 'Pete Walker CPTSD' should bring him to the top  of the menu.

I can relate to a lot of the symptoms of social anxiety and shame that you seem to be describing.  See if this rough list rings any bells for you:
http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/social-anxiety-disorder/basics/symptoms/con-20032524

Social anxiety and emotional flashbacks are very much a part of many of our lives with this condition.  Kudos for reaching out to find some support and help.  I look forward to hearing more from you.

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Three Roses

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Re: Anyone relate?
« Reply #2 on: January 18, 2017, 05:38:28 AM »
Hi and welcome to you, mvp!
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I've either felt great or like everyone is watching me, or really ashamed of every move I make

This happens to me and is usually a good indication I'm having an emotional flashback (EF).

I agree with everything radical said - here's a link to the website she recommended: http://pete-walker.com

Thanks for joining! :wave:

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Dee

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Re: Anyone relate?
« Reply #3 on: January 18, 2017, 01:10:46 PM »

Welcome, I hope you find as much support here as I have.

You wrote that "I'm in the moment of a past situation."  That sounds like a flashback to me.  They come in many different ways.  Some people have body memories, some see flashes, others feel it.  There is also the wide range of emotional flashbacks too.  Just don't discount your experience.  I think that is easy for us to do.  What you feel is real and important!

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mvp

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Re: Anyone relate?
« Reply #4 on: January 19, 2017, 12:30:47 AM »
Thank you all, that all just made me feel 100% better   :)

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bring em all in

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Re: Anyone relate?
« Reply #5 on: January 19, 2017, 07:31:00 PM »
mvp- I'll add my voice to those who can relate to your experiences. Sometimes my head "vibrates" so hard I feel dizzy enough to fall down or pass out. I am terribly concerned about how people see me and am convinced I'm being watched all the time- even if they are not.

C-PTSD as noted, is not yet an "official" diagnosis, but PTSD is. It's taken 24 years (and numerous therapists, psychiatrists, and 3 stints in a Day Hospital program) before finally getting a PTSD diagnosis. My doctor did note C-PTSD (in his opinion) as being a variant of "traditional" PTSD.

They can call it whatever they want, but it feels like *! Fortunately, there are kind people-angels in this community to lend support and suggestions.