C-PTSD as child of severely schizophrenic mother?

Started by Fog, January 19, 2017, 02:10:57 AM

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Fog

Hi all,

Unsure if this is the right forum--if it's not, hopefully the mods can correct.

I was wondering if it's common for folks who grew up with a severely schizophrenic parent to have C-PTSD? Are there other folks here who experienced something like that?

I actually had 3 folks in my immediate family with schizophrenia (mother, grandmother, and aunt), with my mother being the worst. Due to how bad it was with my mom, even when she took her meds, I ended up shuffled to living with my aunt in the 90s, who was also schizophrenic (but milder--she wasn't on disability and could  hold down a job).  And my aunt's husband at the time was abusive--he actually seems like he was a narcissist (not that he'd ever let anyone diagnose him!)  And he was definitely taking advantage of my aunt's illness to mistreat her and me. Her physically, verbally, emotionally, and financially, and me emotionally/verbally/financially.

So I've sort of been thinking that growing up with my mother previously, and her unpredictable screaming fits at demons and ghosts, might have primed me for C-PTSD, because I had to be so vigilant to escape her screaming episodes, then the abusive uncle following up in my teens with verbal/emotional abuse sort of solidified it by being actively malignant instead of merely neglectful/inconsistent/loud.

But I'm curious if there's folks who "only" grew up with a severely schizophrenic parent who end up with these C-PTSD symptoms too?

And for anyone that did, did they (as a child, while still in the situation) have "meltdowns" where the stress of dealing with someone that unpredictable caused them to...well, basically melt down in tears/shouting in return?  Like, are stress-meltdowns a thing for kids growing up in a situation like this?

sanmagic7

hey, fog,

i didn't actually have this experience, but from everything i've learned, i'm sure that c-ptsd can be a result of 'simply' growing up with a schizophrenic mother/parent.  the chaos, uncertainness, hyper-vigilence you had to employ, the abuse of witnessing violent episodes she went through would certainly stress a kid out to the point of 'melting down' and losing it, so to speak.  plus, all the rest of the abuse you went through on top of your home life . . .  i'm glad you're here.

take your time, there's lots of info to browse through and educate yourself with.  there's also lots of support here as well.  i have found this forum to be life-changing, much more so than any real-life support group i've ever taken part in.  welcome.  you belong.

Three Roses

Hello, Fog, and welcome to the forum! Yes, "only" having to deal with someone with a personality or mood disorder certainly can be traumatic. You may want to check out the other site that we have, Out of the Fog - http://www.outofthefog.net/  (quite a coincidence that it's similar to your name here) - "A web site and forum for those who are dealing with someone with a personality disorder."  An overview of personality disorders may be found here - http://www.outofthefog.net/PD.html.

I developed cptsd as a result of being raised by my dad who had, i think, undiagnosed ptsd from an injury sustained during an attack in WWII. And, my mother was married to a man before him who beat her, and she was depressed. It's not so much about the beatings or verbal abuse we suffered so much as the trauma we endured from what we DID NOT get - unconditional love, a feeling of safety, etc.

Anyway, thanks for joining! Hope you find this forum helpful - i know i have!!

bring em all in

Fog,

My mother was narcissistic, undiagnosed Bipolar, and a not so secret prescription medication addict. I can attest to the traumatic effects resulting from this. I loved her and as a grown up came to understand and forgive her, but it doesn't undo the trauma.

I remember one night when I was about six years old and she was whacked out on prescription medication. She screamed at my father that she wished she never married him and wished she never had us kids. That was but one of the chronic episodes and issues I endured growing up with her as my mother.

I didn't "allow" myself to melt down because, as Pete Walker wrote in his book, in traumatizing families a child's anger (or any unwanted emotion) is treated by the parent(s) as a capital offense. So I held it in and have this trauma frozen/locked inside me. I know this now and am still working towards unlocking/processing that trauma.

So, yes, I think this is the right forum and yes, growing up with a mentally ill parent can definitely cause PTSD/C-PTSD.

Another book that helped me greatly was Donna Jackson Nakazawa's Childhood Disrupted: When Your Biography Becomes Your Biology. It helped me understand how "adverse childhood experiences" causes physical changes as a child grows up and manifests themselves in the adult's physical and mental conditions. From what I've read, the unpredictability you mentioned greatly increases the child's being stuck in a hyper-vigilant state that carries into adulthood.   

I imagine you can compile a lengthy list of incidents that traumatized you.

Spirals

Hi, fog  :heythere:

I've been in your shoes, and I think it causes cptsd.

I personally think it is abusive to leave children around an unmedicated person w/ psychosis, and even medicated schizophrenics often have severe problems with how they relate to their children because of the way the disorder affects their brains. So I definitely think "just" having a psychotic mother can be extremely traumatic.

My mother has schizophrenia. She also had bipolar mood swings, so she would veer from intense agitation and aggression to mind-numbing depressions but she was rarely not psychotic. It's nice in a perverse way, to know you know what a screaming fit is, lol. It was very scary to listen to her side of the conversation as the voices in her head basically tortured her. It's like growing up in someone's nightmare.

I often had meltdowns (I still do, unfortunately) and phobias. In my teens, I began to physically attack her back, or scream at her or my dad. But I had run away from or hid from her often as a child. I was terrified of her, and what she would do to me if I got too close to her on a bad day.

:sharkbait:

It's so hard to untangle which aspect or experience was the hardest about it. I've been trying to figure it out myself for years. But it's nice on the forum because everyone here knows what it's like for family to not feel safe
:bigwink:

Here is an electronic hug from one COAS to another (yeah, I've been waiting years to make up this acronym, lol)   :bighug:

How did you deal with it? I mostly read or played outside (away from her) a lot.