In patient?

[Dee]

I've got just two more days until I discuss it more with my therapist.  I have been going back and reading every time I feel I need a little encouragement and rational thinking.  Thanks!  Right now time is agony.  Once the decision has been done, then I think I can focus on what I have to do.

[radical]

Making a big decision is pain in itself.  I'm glad you'll be free of this burden soon.
With you whatever you decide!
                                                   

[Eyessoblue]

You will make the right decision, go with your gut feeling. You know what you need and what is right for you. Wishing you all the best in whatever you decide.

[sanmagic7]

with you all the way, dee.  i'm glad it's almost over.  hang tough!

[bring em all in]

If you are checking in with the forum tonight, it's Tuesday Jan 24 at 9:32 EDT and I'm reading your recent posts and thinking of you. Best wishes for tomorrow!!!!

[Dee]

Awe, I am.  Thank you for the post!!!  I'll let you know what happens after my appointment.

[Three Roses]

I'm looking forward to your update.

[Dee]

I had a rough weekend so we talked about that mostly.  I did tell her yes and I am going back Monday to talk about it more.  BUT did say I would go, now we have to work out details and talking to the kids.

Now, I'm exhausted.

[Wife#2]

Making yourself make a decision IS exhausting, when it's as important as this one. Can you give yourself a day to just be, enjoy your children around you, settle in your soul that this is a positive move forward? And don't forget to breathe. 

[bring em all in]

Good for you, Dee. I'm glad you made the decision that you believe is right for you. And like Wife#2 wrote, such a decision is exhausting.

I've made a decision to speak some unspeakable truths to my therapist next week- I am looking forward to it and dreading it at the same time. I have to let the secrets out but I wonder if I can say the words. I'll probably be checking in on these forums before I go, looking for support and strength.

I'm exhausted just from deciding to decide to talk about it!

[sanmagic7]

there is nothing easy about these decisions, that's for sure!  they take so much energy out of us.  i hope, dee, and beai, that you can give yourselves a break.  this is big time stuff. 

i've found most of my anxiety and discomfort came before i made the decision, whatever it was.  that seemed like the biggest part of the entire venture.  not that the actual 'doing' of it was necessarily easy, but i've usually felt some relief for having made the decision itself.  i hope it's the same for both of you. 

kudos!  so much courage and strength being shown here.  i give you both so much credit.  and, dee, i really admire how you're taking this process in steps - getting everything set beforehand, putting everything in it's place in order to insure you'll be able to have the best possible experience.  i admire that, mainly because it was never my forte'.  good for you.  hugs all around.

[radical]

Mega hugs!


                                                             

And a whole lot of love.

[Dee]

My application is being submitted tomorrow.  I went in yesterday and we agreed I need to go.  She is completing the application and wants me to see it before she sends it in.  Today I meet with my psychiatrist to go over the physical parts of the application.  I'll need to do a blood test and EKG this week or early next. 

Tomorrow we will also discuss my kids.  My plan right now is just to tell them and remind them of some things that I did that is not normal, even for a runner.  For example, the first thing in my suitcase was my scale, eating only veggies, weighing food, measuring food, eating one chip out of a chocolate chip cookie, hoarding chocolate and not eating it, and so much more.  I think they will be able to see and it will click.  They are good kids, I know they will support me and tell me not to worry about them.

[sanmagic7]

o, dee, how brave you are.  you're doing it, taking care of yourself in such a heartfelt way.  i can't tell you how much my heart is with you on this new adventure.  and i'm sure glad your kids will know and understand.  all the best to you with this.  big hug and much love go with you.

[Wife#2]

They are good kids, I know they will support me and tell me not to worry about them.

Yes, they are good kids. YOU raised them to be smart, loving people. They won't want you to worry about them (while knowing you can't help yourself - as a Mom). They may even be proud of you that you are taking this step towards wellness. Really! Some children really do understand that parents are people, too. They understand that parents who get help to get better are better people (and parents) in the long run. And, because they love you, they want you to be well.