Not coping well with depression and anxiety...

[micheerx]

Hey, so this is my second post - trying to find out more about myself and trying to find something that will work for me because I want to go onto a career in clinical psychology I'm currently working my way through my psychology degree... anyway I'll get on to the real problem...

So ever since just before Christmas time I have been CRAZY stressed out, I've had a couple of uni assessment due and then in between that I'm upping my hours in work to full time (40hrs/week) at the moment I'm doing 30 hours because me and my fiance have moved into a new flat and we need the money.

I've been super stressed out with money, I feel like I work so much and I never have the chance to spend any of it on myself, I'm constantly paying bills or paying off old debt (I don't have a lot of debt since I'm a student in the UK, but I have some money on credit cards that I want to pay off) and I just feel like I'm working for no reason. This leads me on to my next issue my job.

So my job is pretty easy I work in a call centre and my department is really quiet I only get about 8 - 12 calls in a shift of 5 hours at night. (On Saturdays I work 11 hours). The customers we get though are particularly difficult and I get a lot of abuse. It's not even the job that's really bad it's the management of the place and they always get the wages wrong, which just worsens my stress about money.

Because of when I work I feel like I have no time to study at all, I only really have from about 9 in the morning until about 2 in the afternoon to do work and then one of my two days off (one day I spent with the other half if he's not working). In this time I have to do housework as well though, and it's tough at 21 to clean a whole 2 bedroom flat by yourself, and obviously I have to fit in time to shower and eat. Recently though I haven't been studying at all on my last assessment I got a 2 week extension because I just have no motivation at all due to depression, I just lay in bed all day and only get out of bed to go to work, come back home have something to eat then sleep because I don't get home until about 9.30pm. I had an assessment due last Thursday and I got an extension of a week but I had to ask for another one until next Thursday. And here I am still can't find the motivation, I just want to stay in bed...

I've tried calling my doctor to make an appointment about going back to therapy cause I feel I'll really benefit from it again (because I can't really talk to my fiance about stuff he doesn't understand) but I only like seeing a specific doctor and it's so hard to get an appointment with her and I'm stuck on what to do.

Any help would be great, sorry for rambling so much, just wanted to build a picture so people know what's going on...

Hope everyone is well... 

[MyselfOnline]

Sounds like a lot to handle. How much does your fiance understand what you are feeling? I don't know what your threshold for stress is like, but I know what happened to me when I began to take more and more on without limits, and what you have would be too much, long term, for me.

See the doctor -- talk about real symptoms of stress. Any sense of hopelessness, any feeling of burnout. They treat symptoms, not life, and a doctor responds best to this kind of approach, I find.

Can you talk to your partner? I know how much it hurts to admit it when we aren't quite living up to the standards we set ourselves, but I bet he would prefer it if you were not feeling so stressed and would understand that things can't carry on for you this way.

What about debt advice? I approached, um, I think it was the Consumer Credit Counselling Service or something like that, who were great at finding better ways to deal with creditors. It was a huge load off to discuss the implications with someone who was familiar with peoples situations all the time. It put limits on how catastrophic my thinking became.

Good luck. For what it's worth, you have permission to leave the washing up whenever you want to.

[sanmagic7]

great permission slip there.  love it!

michelle, it sounds like you reached a point where your body and mind have just kind of given out from being overwhelmed.  i agree with gj that it's really important to set limits and boundaries on our time and our energy as well.  we can only put out so much before we have to sit back and refuel.  i don't see where you have any time to do that.

it may be that you need money for all these things that you want to take care of, but you are carrying a boatload on your shoulders right now without time for yourself.  how about your fiance taking over some of the housework, give you a break?  you're sharing the flat - i don't think it needs to be just one person's responsibility.  fiance could probably make meals a few days a week as well.  if this is a shared venture for the two of you, it's okay to share the not-so-fun stuff, too.

i do hope you get some relief.  take a break, take it easy on yourself, give yourself some down time to just refresh and relax.  i've lifted weights, and one of the most important things to remember is not to work those same muscles every day - they absolutely need time to heal from the workout or bigger problems will happen.  i don't want to see that happen to you.  take care of you first, always.  you're the only one who can.  big hug.