New member- Possible Trigger warning and questions

[HCBelle]

Hello All, I was diagnosed with PTSD a couple months ago but after doing research for myself I feel like I fell more under the CPTSD and found this site. Thank you to all who created this site.

My development came in my adulthood after many years of mental abuse from my now ex husband who is an alcoholic. He controlled nearly everything I did and made me feel it was my fault for all of his short comings. I was lucky enough to never have been physically abused but the last moment before I told him I was leaving was when he punched a wall right next to my head and threatened to punch me in the face.

I have been divorced for almost a year now and been seeing a therapist since Oct, 2016 I have many different triggers most of which I am learning to bring my emotions into check and talking through my state of mind, but lately I find that maybe I'm talking through them too soon.

Last night for example I was triggered, I started to explain that I was in high anxiety state of mind and that I was triggered. But when I moved into the part of why their action triggered me I started to contradict myself back and forth and would loose my train of thought and loop back to the beginning. This caused a lot of frustration with my family member which caused my anxiety level and saddness to kick in more and I then felt like I was not and could not do anything right.

Has anyone out there dealt with this as well and do you have any suggestions/tools to keep from going in the loop?

I don't see my therapist for a week so thought I would put this question out there, thank you.

[Three Roses]

I may be way off base, as I'm not sure I understand what you mean by "the loop" - but to me it sounds like you were in an emotional flashback. Try this article and see if it's relevant: http://outofthefog.net/C-PTSD/forum/index.php?topic=374.msg2420#msg2420

if not, sorry, i'll try again

[sanmagic7]

hey, hcbelle,

you may have answered your own question when you said that you may be talking through them too soon.  i know the feeling of wanting to get these things done and out of the way, finished so i don't have to deal with them.  too often i've ended up back where i started, tongue-tied, confused, going in circles.  is that what you're talking about?

emot. flashbacks, like 3 roses suggested, can have that effect as well.  it's like one thing leads to another and another and pretty soon we feel swamped, losing ourselves in the muck.  if emot. flashbacks is what this is, the article 3 roses suggested might be a great help.  if it's that you're going too fast, it may help to remember that this is a process and it has it's own way of wandering here and there, and at its own pace as well.  go slow, is what i would suggest.  gather yourself together.  just be with yourself for a bit.  you don't have to try to explain all this all at once, especially when you're not sure of it yourself.  you can take all the time you need - you and your recovery are the most important aspects of all this.    keep taking care of you as best you can.  you're worth it, you deserve it.  big hug.