Frozen

[dewachen]

Hello Everybody,

I was just writing for some advice please. I am now in such a state of fear that I have become frozen. I  feel numb as if  I am in a trance. I don't want to do anything except stay in the house and particularly stay in bed. I know meditation will help, but I can't seem to do it. Even writing this is an effort.Does anyone have any tips that helps them break free of this please.


Thanks

[Three Roses]

Sounds like you may be in an EF, or emotional flashback. This is one of the most difficult symptoms of my CPTSD to deal with. Here are some things that help me (copied from http://www.abuse-survivors.org.uk/coping-strategies);

Tell yourself that you are having a flashback.

Remind yourself that the worst is over. The feelings and sensations you are experiencing are memories of the past.

Get Grounded. This means stamping your feet on the ground so that the child knows you have feet and can get away now if you need to. (As a child, you couldn't get away........ now you can).

Breathe. When we get frightened we stop normal breathing. As a result our body begins to panic because we haven't got enough oxygen. Lack of oxygen causes a great deal of panic feelings; pounding in the head, tightness, sweating, feeling faint, shakiness, dizziness. When we breathe deeply enough, a lot of the panic feeling can decrease.

Re-establish to the present. Begin to use your five senses in the present. Look around and see the colours in the room, the shapes of things, the people near, etc. Listen to the sounds in the room; your breathing, traffic, birds, people, cars etc. Feel your body and what is touching it; your clothes, your own arms and hands, the chair or floor supporting you.

Talk to the child in you and tell her she is OK. It is very important that the child knows that the adult is around to take care of her. The child needs to know that it is safe to experience the feelings and let go of the past.

Find your boundaries. Sometimes when we are having a flashback things get out of proportion we lose the sense of where we end and the world begins; as if we do not have skin. Wrap yourself in a blanket, hold a pillow or soft toy, go to bed or sit in a cupboard... anything that you can do to make yourself feel safe.

Get help. You may need to be alone or you may want someone near you. In either case it is important that your friends and relations know about flashbacks so they can help with the process, whether that means letting you be by yourself or being there, whatever is right for you is right.

Take time to regain control. Sometimes flashbacks are very powerful. Don't expect yourself to be able to do adult things immediately. Be kind and look after you, do something that you enjoy. Don't punish yourself; you and your child don't deserve it.

Be patient. It takes time to heal the past. It takes time to learn ways of taking care of you, of being an adult who has feelings and developing effective ways of coping in the here and now.

Find a competent therapist. Look for a therapist who understands the process of healing from incest. A therapist can be a guide, a support, a coach in this healing process. You do not have to do it alone ever again.

Remember this is all a normal part of healing.

Hope this helps. If not, tell us and someone else may have better input. Keep posting!

[sanmagic7]

dewachen, for whatever reason, even tho it was an effort, you managed to post here, and i think that's a good sign.  not completely frozen, still enough heat to reach out for advice and/or support.  so very glad you made it here.

3 roses' 'checklist' about what to do when in an ef has been helpful for me.  take it slow, go at your own pace.  you'll be able to make it through, even if you can only do a few of those things the first time.  every step counts.  you'll be all right.  you've already started. 

[bring em all in]

I get frozen, also. I actually get physical frozen in space- unable to move. I've never considered if it is an emotional flashback triggered by something that just happened. I'll try to be aware next time.

[dewachen]

 Thank you for your replies and the checklist and the encouragement. I feel relieved that there is a name for this. I don't know much about emotional flashbacks but will look it up and start applying the checklist. It has taken me years to decide whether to join the forum, but I am very glad I did. I feel more hopeful, so thank you

[sanmagic7]

o, dewachen,  i'm just really glad you took the chance to come here.  we're here for you.  this place has been great to  and for me.

[bring em all in]

I had an emotional flashback shortly before going to bed last night. Then I awoke in a panic at 4:30 and didn't get back to sleep. I knew it would be better to get up and do something but I was frozen again.

I hope you get relief from getting/being frozen soon!

[Kizzie]

A big warm "Welcome" to you dewachen, so glad you took the risk  to post - it's bigger step forward than you might think 

[Moonlighter]

You're reaching out and that's so difficult, take a moment to be proud of yourself because that's huge!

I'm very analytical and the therapy that works best for me incorporates Mindfulness--being aware of your thoughts and feelings. (usually with my eyes closed the whole time) I try to focus on one feeling, then notice what part of my body is affected as I feel that emotion. Sometimes it's a single part, like my head aches or my right arm is numb, but sometimes it's larger like I'm cold or my joints are sore. This part is gonna sound kooky, but after I find the emotion in my body I tell myself that I love myself and I thank myself. Just "I love you" and "thank you for keeping me safe." I sit there being comfortable with that and slowly let in sounds from from the room. Then the feeling of the blanket around me, the pillow under my head, my leg on the mattress.... I open my eyes and stay still as I look at the colors and shapes around me. I don't move until I feel ok.

You are not alone. And you should be so proud of yourself for doing what you need, even when that need is staying in bed.