Today I realized that... (Part 1)

[voicelessagony2]

Thank you for watching out for us Kizzie. I haven't seen anything weird, but if I do I will report it like you said.

[Kizzie]

Thanks Voiceless 

[Widdiful Falling]

Thank you, Kizzie. I already said it in another post, but it's really great to see forum admins that are so protective of their members. It's so easy to sit back and do nothing. Fitting with the theme of this thread, today I realized that OOTS is a good-enough safe place.

[C.]

 

[anosognosia]

I have a real driving phobia because it exposes me fully and it's an open invitation to be ridiculed and live up to the "female bad driver" stereotype. I'm terrified of being honked at, or yelled at, or otherwise attacked.  It's my terrified state just like when I lived with my FOO.

I want to overcome this phobia so I am more functional in society by having a car!
It's a debilitating fear.

[Widdiful Falling]

My M was using me as an emotional extension of herself.

I have been minimizing the abusive things my M did to me, and I have been in denial about a lot. More and more things are making sense, now.

I have many good qualities, and I am a loveable person.

[anosognosia]

Today I realised that I'm with the partner I'm supposed to be with right now. He's so easy going and understanding and forgiving without being a pushover.

I'm so grateful that I'm learning a quiet, non-painful, non-tumultuous love through him. It's surprising and scary and disturbing to experience such an all-around good relationship. 

[Vista]

Today I realised I have succeeded in escaping my X's behaviour and that people I love are beginning to get why I choose not to talk to him.  I feel relieved.

[C.]

Congratulations on that step Vista.  It sounds like a large step to me and one that would bring more peace to your life.

[KayFly]

I've come a really long way...

[DaisyMae]

That there are people that care and accept others for who they are. Appreciate others unique personalities and special talents and interests.
I am starting to feel again and allowing myself to by a little vulnerable.  This is a big step for me. 

I still have a lot of fears and mistrust (even myself).  I have come a long way in the last two years but still have a very long way to go.....

Thanks to everyone on the forum for you support and kindness.   :hug:DaisyMae

[Vrizzy]

That sometimes answers take time.

[JohnnyBoy]

Today I realized fully that I was partly responsible for the disaster that was my just end relationship, my fault? inactivity, sitting idly by a letting her do things I knew to be wrong, constantly covering for her and being her scapegoat. I have realized my fault accepted my blame, give my penance, and leave her to her part.

[Jdog]

Today I realized that the list of things for which I am grateful dwarfs the list of fears and griefs. 

[Dutch Uncle]

and I actually voiced this while in a park...

That I want to say to my mother she is ruthless, pitiless, relentless, dispiteous, merciless, cold-hearted... And all that in just one word: "meedogenloos".

I probably won't. But it doesn't make it any less true that it's (and has been) my experience.
It felt good saying that, in an awkward way. , again. Ngghh...