Something to remember

[RobinSystem]

After making my first post here and being welcomed by many lovely people, I remembered something important which I've been working on accepting for the past 5/6 years of my recovery.

Just because someone else has it worse doesn't mean you're not allowed to hurt.

For years I've struggleed to accept (and still am) that what I experienced wasn't bad enough; my parents didn't mean to hurt me and were generally very supportive and it's hard for me to understand that while also acknowledging that things they did or said hurt me deeply, regardless of good intentions.

Even if you think your trauma wasn't "that bad," if it affects you badly then it's totally "bad enough." Does that make sense?

[radical]

I completely agree.  It's such a common feeling for people with cptsd too.

What I'm coming to understand for myself, is that thinking 'what happened shouldn't have been bad enough to have caused me to be so badly affected' and comparing my situation to those of others to 'rub it in' -  those kinds of thoughts relate to feeling generally worthless, weak and inferior, and for me, those feelings are a are part of this condition and the problems it has caused me.  They would be there regardless of any of the ways I might rationalise feeling them  ( and let's face it the sky's the limit when it comes to finding "reasons" for feeling worthless and inferior).

[RobinSystem]

I completely agree.  It's such a common feeling for people with cptsd too.

What I'm coming to understand for myself, is that thinking 'what happened shouldn't have been bad enough to have caused me to be so badly affected' and comparing my situation to those of others to 'rub it in' -  those kinds of thoughts relate to feeling generally worthless, weak and inferior, and for me, those feelings are a are part of this condition and the problems it has caused me.  They would be there regardless of any of the ways I might rationalise feeling them  ( and let's face it the sky's the limit when it comes to finding "reasons" for feeling worthless and inferior).

Oh yeah I can absolutely relate to feeling like it shouldn't have affected me as badly as it does because it "wasn't that bad".... I'm still working on reminding myself that it was bad, since it makes me feel so bad but....

[sanmagic7]

practice those thoughts, robin.  if it felt that bad, it most certainly was that bad, no matter the intent or circumstances.  you'll get there.  big hug.

[RobinSystem]

practice those thoughts, robin.  if it felt that bad, it most certainly was that bad, no matter the intent or circumstances.  you'll get there.  big hug.

thank you