Video on how to spot Narcs/Other cluster Bs

[rosemarie]

I am trying my best to educate myself on how to avoid these types because I have always just been trusting that people are genuine and they get in all the time. Like, since I was born, over and over. There is only one person in my life that I can actually trust, at least I have her. After recently extracting myself from an actual den of wolves, I'm now realizing I've been SURROUNDED by them and just passed off or back and forth from one to another. I HAVE HAD ENOUGH. I found this super helpful video talking about one of the easiest ways to spot them, it's the FLATTERY. They are flatterers looking for supply. They are not genuine. It's all smoke and mirrors, I feel like I get it now. If someone is supper flattering and not making genuine compliments I need to start seeing this. I don't blame low self esteem for bringing them in because I think that's victim blaming. These people are insidious and know how to manipulate anyone who is not like them, maybe even those who are (I've seen like narcissistic hierarchies before what a mess). What I have noticed is there is this thing where they eventually use the flattery to cover up their crappy and disrespectful behavior. Anyways, I found this video super useful.

https://youtu.be/2ls8algqvwA

[Three Roses]

Great video, thanks for sharing it. You may also like Richard Gannon's videos on dealing with narcissists. He has a ton of them but this one is only 15 minutes long -

https://youtu.be/jCBiUoe7YWA

(Warning: he sometimes uses "colorful" language. )

[rosemarie]

Thanks, I'll check that out! I'm on a youtube binge off and on and it's so helpful and validating sometimes I think what the heck did anyone do about trauma before the internet? I mean things had to have been even more under wraps. I personally think we are in a revolution against narcissism, about time for one anyhow.  And thanks for the work you do as moderator! That's gotta be rewarding but intense too at times.

Update, yes yes yes he's great! Engage the critical thinking and logic. That's all I've got to hold onto right now about my mom being a covert. I keep slipping like oh she loves me and then I pull myself back with what are the facts? Lists, reminder, re-reading posts and journals, and the trauma is all so linked in my mind then it just rolls on its own.