for those that experience delusional thinking

Started by Soulflower, February 26, 2017, 12:46:06 AM

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Soulflower

how do you manage when your mind is hijacked over and over? its relentless, persistent, twisted and tiring.

makes me feel crazy sometimes .. i am afraid of everything and everyone. i believe everyone is plotting against, and deceiving me.

i gotta good man, whom i adore and dream of sharing a lifetime with, but im in constant fear of being rejected, abandoned or deceived, when he's been nothing but supportive and patient.

i shred whats said to me to bits and re-wire it all into a bizarre story of toxicity.




Soulflower

or maybe theyre not delusions at all and its instinct. maybe i really am f#$@! nutty and everyone talks about, dismisses, mocks, finds me pathetic and are plotting against me, most likely in groups. to get me. i cant tell if somebody is joking or not. i dunno how to take anyone, and in constant freeze mode :(

Dee


OR maybe you are human?  This is the inner critic, tell it to stop.

We all catastrophize (not a word) from time to time.  Tell yourself to stop.  Think of facts and percentages.

What fact is this based on?

Soulflower

hard to tell. losing reality between whats real and what isnt.

Dee


Try writing it down.  This often look clearer and more manageable when we write them.

GlassChild

I struggle with this too. I have begun noted when I start to get paranoid (thinking whispers are about me, or that people are being sarcastic). I take this as a sign that I've pushed myself too far for the day and need to retreat either through medical intervention or through withdrawal from society. It's really hard but it helps to remind yourself that it's not true, but I know how hard that is.

Sometimes I  get so convinced and so frustrated that I just can't even stand to talk to my own friends and then later I feel silly for being so concerned about them.

Wife#2

Triggered by the authenticity of this post and the responses - let me just say - you are NOT alone! This is something others are experiencing. I have as long as I can remember.

I want to say more, but I'm afraid I'll trade trigger for trigger and make your day worse.

Please know, or try to hear me when I say that we are here to support you. We aren't talking in another space about you. We want you to feel safe and to help you see that you are normal. Well - I do say I'm crazy a lot, but I also do try to back up my paranoia with facts in the moment.

If I feel that my boss and her boss are talking about me and just sure to fire me any minute, I look at the facts. That got scary the other day, I had messed up and got written up for it. All that weekend, I was sure they were biding their time to fire me. Instead, I got a raise and lots of praise for the hard work I do. Since then, it's easier to identify the feelings and 'corner' them into thinking about the facts.

I have some friends who can help me with this. One I don't get to see very often anymore. Another is on leave from work for a very long time (I hate that for her, she's hurting and I want to make that pain stop for once in her life).

If there is anyone you do feel you can trust, and have been able to trust in the past, maybe try asking for help? Ask them to be a touchstone to help you ground your thoughts? This is what helped me. I can't see the truth when the paranoia takes over. I have to talk it out with someone who can point me to the truth gently.

I love the responses about writing it down and reading it again. Writing it down, then comparing it to objective truth. Yes, I know, what is objective truth when you're standing in the middle of these feelings? So, come here. We'll help when we can. We may not know the specifics in your life that are eating at you, but we can help with world truths.

:bighug: and thank you for not panicking and removing that post. It helps me as well to know I'm not alone.

Elphanigh

I can relate to this so much. You are definitely not the only one with this. I have a truly difficult time getting out of these thoughts. For example, I spent most of Wednesday night worried that someone was going to break in to my apartment. Now I have lived there for over a year, but I was convinced since this person I was selling my couch to didn't show that they would later use my address and the fact I live alone to break in.

I get it in other ways at work, and with friends too. The only way I can find sometimes is writing it out, even better is talking to someone. I have a couple of friends that I can tell them these thoughts and they will help me realize that these scenarios are not likely. The don't invalidate the thoughts but they assure me that it will all be okay and that people are probably not that focused on me, they are all off caring about not getting fired themselves etc.

I hope that helps some, I wish I could do more :hug: