Hello I'm new. *Potential trigger warning*

[crohnie]

Hey all. 

Tonight I've been doing a lot of research on CPTSD, which has really confirmed a lot of what I've known for a while.

My traumas as a youth included being diagnosed with Crohn's Disease as an early teen, living in an alcoholic home, and facing terror at school, where I was bullied and targeted for being perceived as gay (which I am, but I did not identify as such at the time).

What really hit home tonight has been learning about emotional flashbacks, which I have been living with for probably most of my adult life (I turn 51 this week).   I also lived with terrifying chronic nightmares for about 15 years.  Within the last year or so, medication and therapy have finally provided relief from the most frightening dreams, but I still struggle with them on occasion (just not every night).  After years of trial and error I currently have a team of professionals - gastroenterologist, therapist, and psychiatrist - who listen to me and appear to have genuine concern for my well being. 

The last two months have been a struggle.  I recently completed my PhD, and am not currently working, which is both a blessing and a curse.  Things are bad enough at the moment that I cannot imagine working, at least not full time.  If my insurance approves it, I plan to begin Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation in the next few weeks, which gives me some hope. 

Thanks for reading.  I look forward to reading posts on this board.  I suspect that we all share commonalities that have brought us to this space. 

[Candid]

Welcome to the forum, crohnie.  You're going to love it here.

[Three Roses]

Welcome, crohnie!

[Blueberry]

Welcome crohnie, I'm glad you've found us and joined us.  There's lots of common ground on this forum, and lots of mutual support.

[Hope66]

Welcome Crohnie,
This is a very supportive community.  Wishing you a warm welcome.
Hope 

[silentrhino]

Hello Chronie.  I am of a similar age with some similar symptoms, nightmares especially.  I was systematically physically and sexually assaulted for over ten years beginning around age nine.  Don't get me started on the emotional abuse, neglect and so forth.  I have been treatment avoidant for a long time but recently decided to attempt to deal with some of my severe symptoms.  I have been experiencing some acceptance from my therapist which surprises me.  Anything good in a relationship surprises me.  I am especially hoping to recover from the chronic nightmare problem.  Let me know how you get on with things. Just wanted you to know you're not alone.

[crohnie]

silentrhino - The drug Prazosin was a breakthrough for me with my nightmares.  If you haven't been on it already, if might be worth asking your doc.   The combo of Prazosin & finding the right therapist has drastically reduced my nightmares, and when I do have them now they are typically not as terrifying as they were a couple of years ago. 

All the best to you -- hang in there!

[silentrhino]

I've never heard of a medicine for nightmares, that's interesting thanks.  My night terrors are pretty severe, more than nightmares.  They occur daily and cause me to attempt to avoid sleeping. As you can imagine I have no circadian rhythm, makes sense since I don't feel like a real person.