My inner child let me know what she wanted today!!!

[Hope66]

 I've not experienced this much, but there have been a few glimmers that I am beginning to notice and 'hear' my inner child, and I think this is due to my attempts to stay with feelings/thoughts etc and try to ensure I am more 'in the here and now' rather than dissociated/distracted or in another state. 

Today, I suddenly thought I'd like to buy a doll - they are an unusual doll with many colours in their hair and colourful clothes - not sure what kind they are, but I remember seeing them in a shop and thinking that it would have been great if they'd been around when I was a child - I really like them.

I've decided I'm going to buy one for myself! 

I feel like this is to satisfy my inner child - she seems happy at that thought - excited, and I want to give her a gift that she will enjoy.

This feels like progress to me.  I just wanted to celebrate it - not only am I listening to my inner child - who has expressed her sorrowful side to me and her lonely side in the past, but she is asking me for something colourful and bright and fun, and I want her to experience that. 

Hope 

[meursault]

Yay!  I'm glad for you!

[Three Roses]

This is great! Thanks for sharing! What a wonderful idea

[Blueberry]

That's great! I'm really happy for you and your inner child. To me that sounds like progress too.   

I've done a lot of IC work. For me connecting with the creative, fun-loving, active, playful little Blueberries was necessary to enable my healing process after a re-traumatisation and 'stuck' feelings.

[Hope66]

Thanks Meursault, Three Roses and Blueberry,
Your validation means a lot - I am still excited at the thought of buying this doll - infact the anticipate of it is far more exciting than the actual process - and I am wondering if I'll actually follow through and buy her.  I really think I will. 

Hope 

[Eyessoblue]

Hi Hope, my therapist told me to go out and buy myself a doll that looked like me so that I can play with it and talk to it as if I was talking to myself, she told me that's how I would learn to love myself. I have yet to buy one as the idea still seems very odd to me and I'm not sure I could actually do that? Maybe further on I will but at the moment it doesn't feel right to do this. I hope you get what you need out of your doll. Good for you with going ahead and getting one.

[meursault]

I went and bought myself a teddy bear about a year ago.  I thought I'd just put it on the shelf as a sort of reminder or totem.  Turns out, I sleep with it...  and I'm not too embarrassed to admit it!  I'm super glad I got it.

Meursault

[Blueberry]

I've got a whole bunch of cuddly animals (rather than dolls) with which I've done IC work but also with which I used to sleep. I don't any more, somehow something has changed. But for a long time they were very important to me. I also have a few other toys, things that appeal to hold in my hands in situations that really frighten me. Very small ICs definitely let me know which of these to buy.
I still have some teddy bears etc from childhood but they're all retired. I don't use them for IC work and they haven't slept with me in my adult life.

[Toast]

Today, I suddenly thought I'd like to buy a doll - they are an unusual doll with many colours in their hair and colourful clothes - not sure what kind they are, but I remember seeing them in a shop and thinking that it would have been great if they'd been around when I was a child - I really like them.

Are you perhaps talking about a Ball-Jointed Doll?



This is my Ball-Jointed Doll. She's a little on the unusual side but I love her.

[meursault]

That's a super weird doll.  She's awesome.

[Hope66]

I am excited to see so many replies - thank you to all of you!

Eyessoblue - I also think the concept of choosing a doll that 'looks like you' is a bit of an odd concept, so I relate to what you're saying about not feeling comfortable about doing that necessarily - but I guess your therapist had an idea and maybe if it had felt right, then it would have been right, but at the moment it doesn't feel right for you personally.   

Meursault - great that you have your Teddy bear and you're proud to say you sleep with him/her.  When I was single I also used to sleep with a bear - as an adult - it was comforting to have a teddy bear at that time for definite.  I think I'd consider it if I was taking a trip and had to sleep alone - it's good to have company.  I know someone who has a ton of teddies on her bed, and I do wonder if she sleeps with them all - because there isn't much room left.  But maybe she takes them all off at night time.

Blueberry - great that you have your cuddly animals and also your toys, and that your younger IC help you choose them.   I wonder if the animals who are now 'retired' are jealous of the position the new ones take in your life? 

Toast - your Ball-Jointed doll is GREAT - really fab.  Like Meursault said - a weird kind of doll - in a good way.  Yes the colourful dolls are similar to her - I need to find out the name - I saw them in a shop once - unfortunately not local to where I live so I'll either have to travel to buy, or send for one by mail - but ideally I'd like to 'go shopping' and discover the right doll for me.  I wish I'd bought one the previous time I saw one.

Thank you all for validating my quest for a doll - I know if I talked about this with some people in my life - they would think me odd.  It's good to talk about stuff and not feel odd. 

Hope 

[Fightsong]

Hope,  do buy yourself a doll. Its a wonderful idea. I've bought my inner child several things that she loves. Once I got over the wierdness and self indulgence of it ( it is infact neither of course). Your IC will love the doll if that's what she asks for. See how lots of us here have done similar things. Its really okay! 

[Hope66]

Hi Someonesomewhereelse,

I felt very encouraged by what you wrote, so thank you!!!  I've just bought my doll on Amazon, and she'll arrive in about a week.  She's a Monster High Frankie Doll and she's 'multi-coloured' - she's got different coloured eyes, hair, etc, and she's ball-jointed. 

It was such a great experience to go 'shopping' for her online, and find her. 

Thank you to all of you who replied to my post and encouraged my inner child to find her doll - I am excited at the prospect of meeting her!

I am feeling very happy just now!   It's a good feeling!   

Hope 

[Fightsong]

Your inner child deserves to feel happy, excited, loved  and to feel she deserves to be treated. Enjoy these wonderfully childlike feelings, they are yours to cherish. I hope, when she comes, Dolly is every bit as fabulous as your inner child anticipates xx

[Hope66]

Hi Someonesomewhereelse,

Thank you!     I hope so too.   

Hope