Never realized it was (maybe?) Dissociation

[mamato3]

I was diagnosed with C-PTSD 14 years ago after a divorce from a physically and emotionally abusive NPD husband. Some days I have experiences where I feel like I'm "out of body" particularly during an anxiety attack or high stress moments. Is this dissociation? I find it terrifying and have to work hard to come back in the moment and feel grounded. I don't see a lot of posts from those who were diagnosed as adults, but maybe I'm not looking in the right spots. TIA

[Blueberry]

Hi Mamato,
The way I understand it, the thread Development of CPTSD in Adulthood was formed later. People post in the Childhood thread as well. I'm no expert, so please correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't imagine there's a difference between dissociation after adult onset CPTSD or after childhood onset. So you may well find useful posts in childhood onset. You're certainly free to read and post where you like (so long as you follow the guidelines of course).

"out of body" - either disocciation or depersonalisation.

It's good that you can re-ground.  Even if it's hard work. I wish you all the best in general and especially now if you're in a terrifying spot. I hope somebody posts soon who can help you better.

There might be more information under Resources as well, unless you've looked already. 

[Three Roses]

Some days I have experiences where I feel like I'm "out of body" particularly during an anxiety attack or high stress moments. Is this disassociation?

I think you may be describing derealization or depersonalization - see what you think -

"Depersonalization – This is one of a number of symptoms of CPTSD and is a form of dissociation in which a person feels as though they are not real, that they are disconnected from themselves, and are somewhat distant or detached from what is happening to them. This maladaptive strategy is used when CPTSD sufferers face overwhelming trauma they cannot escape from (as in childhood abuse).

Derealization - This is one of a number of symptoms of CPTSD and is a form of dissociation in which a person feels as though the world around them is not real, that they are in a dreamlike state and detached from their feelings . This maladaptive strategy is used when CPTSD sufferers face overwhelming trauma they cannot escape from (as in childhood abuse)." From http://www.outofthestorm.website/cptsd-glossary/

Do either of those describe what you're experiencing? Dissociation has many forms, which vary from person to person. I hope this info helps you. ♡

[mamato3]

Hi Mamato,
The way I understand it, the thread Development of CPTSD in Adulthood was formed later. People post in the Childhood thread as well. I'm no expert, so please correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't imagine there's a difference between dissociation after adult onset CPTSD or after childhood onset. So you may well find useful posts in childhood onset. You're certainly free to read and post where you like (so long as you follow the guidelines of course).

"out of body" - either disocciation or depersonalisation.

It's good that you can re-ground.  Even if it's hard work. I wish you all the best in general and especially now if you're in a terrifying spot. I hope somebody posts soon who can help you better.

There might be more information under Resources as well, unless you've looked already.

It used to last whole days. Today was actually the first time I was able to bring myself back! I am kind of proud of that.

[Blueberry]

Well done, you!   
I'd feel proud of myself too. Dissociated for days is not fun, putting it mildly. Being in a state of depersonalisation for days - I found that really disturbing, worrying, frightening.

[Eyessoblue]

Hi, yes I agree with the other comments, through cbt I am now able to stay grounded, as hard as that is sometimes by focusing on the present and where I am what I can see etc has helped me to disaccociate a lot less, I had days where I used to be' somewhere else' but now through regular practicing of grounding techniques I find I do it a lot less.