What I've tried

Started by Rooter Soho, April 04, 2017, 04:28:42 PM

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Rooter Soho

When I was younger, I used to binge drink on the weekends. I was trying to "have fun" and "party" - but was probably trying to cope. I was also on meth for a very long time. Now, I only drink occasionally, usually craft beer because I love it, and never more than 4. I use weed every day to help me cope. It helps some but my tolerance has built up and I'm trying to cut back.

Has anyone had any experience with kratom? It's from SE Asia and is used a lot to help people come off opioids. It's everywhere where I am but there's a whole bunch of different types. I tried 1 type, but it didn't do anything.

Started Wellbutrin 13 days ago - I had a really mild headache on the left side of my head day 9, really mild headache on the right side day 10, and I felt really really weird day 11, like I should have been depressed but I couldn't be, and day 12 was back to regular ol' me - hating life, yada. (I've suffered from headaches my whole life - what's mild to me may not be to anyone else, IDK)

I've also used psychedelics extensively, but only for fun. About a year ago I did mushrooms, but they either don't do enough or they do too much, and I get depressed the next day. LSD doesn't have that effect on me, but I think I'm done with psychedelics - I know what they are; there's no mystery.

I've tried opioids, smoked heroin - felt like drunk/tripping at the same time, wasn't my thing. Vicodin does nothing, Percocet sorta helped my pain when I had my wisdom teeth pulled, and I tried 1 10mg Oxycontin once and it didn't do anything.

Three Roses

I used to drink and use drugs. They only led me further down a path of self abandonment, dysfunction, self destruction and pain. I neglected my health and emotional development for the sake of numbing myself for a few hours or days at a time.

I try to focus on things that aren't just a band-aid; feeling these feelings, although not fun, is alleviating my feelings of not being good enough. Going where a feeling takes me, to get at the core issue of what's really troubling me, is helping. Talking with a therapist is helping.

Numbing, what I've done all my life thru one substance or activity or whatnot, has gotten me nowhere but mired deeper in my own misery.

Rooter Soho

Feeling these feelings is nothing but *, and I need some help to cope. I can't deal with this anymore. I'm probably the 2nd lowest I've ever been. The only things that have given me hope are a) putting a name to what I'm going through b) realizing that I would have been mostly okay had it not been for crappy humans and c) finding this site/forum.

I'm excited to start therapy once we move, but I know it'll be a long road. I've been trying to work on myself too, but it goes nowhere. I have severe mental blocks.